Gronk You Answer - Nag nag nag.

Today we're letting Gronk answer a few of your emails, so get ready for some answers, because it's time for Gronk You Answer!

David I am Not Spamming say...

Dear owner of phil-are-go.blogspot.com,
I’m sure you have been contacted in this matter many times before but our value proposition is much different. We show the client results before we ask for any further commitment. As a business owner you might be interested to gain profit by placing your website among top in search engines. Your website needs immediate improvement for some major issues with your website.
-Low online presence for many competitive keyword phrases
-Unorganized social media accounts
-Not compatible with all mobile devices
-Many bad back links to your website
I have selected your website phil-are-go.blogspot.com and prepared a FREE website audit report. This is for you, completely free at no charge. If my proposal sound's interesting for your business goal, feel free to email me, or can provide me with your phone number and the best time to call you. I am also available for an online meeting to present you this website audit report.
I look forward to hearing from you - thanks!
Best Regards,
David
Marketing Consultant
PS: I am not spamming. I have studied your website, prepared an audit report and believe I can help with your business promotion. If you still want us to not contact you, you can ignore this email or ask to remove and I will not contact again.

Gronk not know if you have relationship or not, David Not Spamming, but Gronk can say from experience that it bad idea to say "improvement for some major issues" in opening paragraph. You not winning Gronk over. Then offer to audit Gronk? Guess what, Mister Not Spamming? Audit delete key! GRAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

Thank you for letter. Me Gronk.

Sharmarj say...

hello,
if we give you large order can it have effect on price? please send us your price with refrence of big order.
Because if your price is good i we my purchase order in my next mail.
thank you
Sharmarj
Trading Director
Mobile: +1-3241219008

Thank you for letter, Sharmarj. You bet if give large order it effect price! Small order, small price. Big order, big price. You expect Gronk charge less for more? Gronk think you not understand difference between big and small... just like you not understand when to capitalize small letter! GRAH HAH HAH! Here business tip from Gronk: big letters same price as small letters! Boom! Gronk zing you! 

"I we my" look forward to next letter from Sharmarj! BAH hah hah hah!

Me Gronk.

Jamie say...

Hey Bhakti!!

Bhakti?

My name is Jamie Paulsen, and I’m a community manager for Fanatics; the leading online retailer for everything sports, specializing in apparel for all of your favorite teams. I came across your blog recently and really loved your unique sense of fashion. When getting ready for the big game we know that everyone has their own sense of style, and we want to see what yours is all about. As fall approaches the tailgating begins, and we need to look cute for every occasion. We want to see your game day outfit!

We’re asking a select group of other bloggers to grab an image of an NFL jersey of the team of your choosing from our NFL Jerseys page and, using up to 7 additional pieces of clothing (or accessories), build your perfect game day ensemble!

Are you up for tackling the challenge? Let me know ASAP and I can send you more information! If you have any questions, feel free to give me a shout!

Jamie

Information contained in this e-mail message is confidential. This e-mail message is intended only for the personal use of the recipient(s) named above. If you are not an intended recipient, do not read, distribute or reproduce this transmission (including any attachments). If you have received this email in error, please immediately notify the sender by email reply and delete the original message.

 

Thank you for letter, Jamie. See how easy to get someone name right? Sport team like practice a lot, Gronk hear. Maybe you enjoy practice typing name? Time to suit up for name practice, Jamie.

Give Gronk G!

"JEEEE!"

Give Gronk R!

"ARRRRR!"

Give Gronk O!

"OOOHHHH!"

Give Gronk N!

"ENNNNNN!"

Give Gronk K!

"KAYYYYYY!"

What that spell?

"YOU GO FUCK SELF! HOORAY!"

Thank you for letter, Jamie Paulsen. Next time Gronk punch you in elevator.