Good Decorating, Section Number F - Decorating Good!

Hey, ugly house-havers! Is your house stupid looking? Of course it is! It's time to fix it up with all kinds of clever and attractive things, like ideas! Let's have some now!

If your kitchen is too bright and airy, you can bring it down to Earth with these pretend beams in a nice so-brown-it's-nearly-black stain that simply won't show any grease vapor buildup ever ever ever. Still too bright? Some nice paneled cabinets can fine tune your room. The balustrades on top of the cabinets are more than an accent piece. They also keep your pheasants and children from falling off and getting hurt! If the several square feet of ceiling between the beams is still searing your eye-holes, you can just wallpaper it with a nice mixed fruit and flower wallpaper- wups! I mean ceilingpaper! Hahahahahahahah! Also some carpet!

Are you a trapezoid? Aren't we all? Well, you'll feel like a new convex quadrilateral when you squeeze your vertices into this cozy custom bed! The blankets are sheets are green, to go with the orange walls, you'll notice. Match this with some striped carpet and a floral chair or whatever it is and you're one euphoric Euclidean!

If you've got a boring old room with two stupid walls with idiotic windows, and you can't stop trying to kill yourself there, why not brighten it up with some purple and blue stripes? Of course that's a good idea, shut up! Several stores somewhere will sell you a purple and blue chair with nearly matching wallpaper, right?... Then look harder, lazy! Jeez!

Once your "bluerple" sitting room is complete, you'll be glad you happied the place up with some color and pattern... although SOME people may not see what all the fuss is about.

What? You're color blind? Man, The Seventies are going to be a rough decade for you, but the hell with your cones. It's high time your rods had a workout! This houndstooth-themed sitting area is a perfect eyeball gymnasium. In the photo shown here, there are two game show hosts and a used car salesman standing in plain view. Believe me? Wrong!!! I lied! It's only their jackets!
Aaah HAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahah!

If you're like me, you have lots of books. You also have more books than your shelves can hold, so you can match the decor of the room if you change it. try to have lots of books in every color. This room also features a nice bench covered in gift wrap. Every time you sit, it's like your birthday! You can also use art to match your room...

This room features this Phlegmish masterpiece Rectal Seizure at Cornfield, with Smears. Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?


Michelle_Randy said...

Wow, that houndstooth room is kind of like an Epilepsy Testing Room right?

Groovy, baby, yeah!

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

The match with Austin's suit was so good, you probably didn't notice that we replaced it with the wallpaper.


Michelle_Randy said...

I did, but I love that movie so it's all good. You will also notice I said I loved it....my husband does not and refuses to watch it with me. There's no accounting for taste.

Anonymous said...

You are a comedy genius sir, "Rectal Seizure at Cornfield, with Smears". Laughed till I nearly shagged myself (oh wait that doesnt quite work).

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