Hard hat.

Joke #1 - "Good news, honey! I think I found Grandpa."

Joke #2 - "I'm terribly sorry, sir, but you were jaywalking, after all."

Joke #3 - London speed bumps, 1962. Ineffective and expensive, but very dapper.

Joke #4 - Dad loved reminding the kids that, back in the big flood of '46,  the water was over one hat deep. He couldn't resist demonstrating the horror.

Joke #5 - Oh no! Dale's wife had parked on his driving hat! ...But he couldn't drive without his driving hat. How would he move the car? What he needed now was his thinking scarf, but then Dale remembered that he had tucked it inside his driving hat! There was nothing left to do but kill himself. ...But where had he left his suicide moustache? Oh, that's right. He'd left it at the office... but that was too far to walk. So, he would have to drive back to work to get his suicide moustache - oh, wait.

Joke #6 - Oh no. Dale had parked on a double yellow bowler. He would get a ticket for sure. better move the car.

Joke #7 - "I'm terribly sorry, sir, but you were jaywalking against the signal, while dicking around with your phone... and you were wearing a tank top with three scarves. So, go fuck yourself."

Michelle Randy swings into action with a rare jokey contribution in the form of a deep pull from The Avengers! Thanks Michelle! - "THAT will serve that John Steed!", thought Dr. Evil Scientist.

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]