2015 Pointy Tree Day Card cattle call.

It's some sort of time again, citizens! "What sort of time again?" you say? Time to get your Pointy Tree Day card, so you can alienate your family by pinning our monstrosity up next to all the cards from normal people. We will need some kind of postal address, though, because it's a real physical thing made of cardboard. Crazy, I know!

Phil Are GO! Pointy tree Day Card F.A.Q. (Fervently Aggravated Query).

Q: How the hell can I get my copy of the P.A.G.P.T.D.C.? Tell me NOW! HURRY!

A: Just send your address (you know, the number on the thing you live in, in the bigger thing you live in, in the even bigger thing you live in) to PhilAreGo@gmail.com. The Postal Service will handle the rest (and by "handle", we mean "posisbly twist, crease, fold, and lose in the footwell of the delivery truck").

Q: No way am I sending you my address! You'll stalk me!

A: If you think we have the time to sit in an unmarked van across the street from your house, you are probably grossly overestimating the interestingness of your life, and also the amount of free time we have here at GO! Tower. If you're that paranoid, give us your work address, or the address of someone you know. We don't care.

Q: Wait. This is free?

A: Yes. It's free.

Q: No way.

A: Yes, dammit. Free. Just for laughs.

Q: Really? Completely free?

A: Okay, screw you. You don't get a card. Happy now?

Q: Do you have any of the older versions of the Phil Are GO! Pointy Tree Day card lying around? Can I get a couple of those?

A: Yeah, we have some of those. If you ask all nice, we'll send an envelope with a few different cards in it while supplies last or until we don't feel like it any more.

Q: Is this year's card another cigarette ad?

A: Funny enough, no. This year we're shaking thing up. We're not out of cigarette Christmas ads, but this year we found something too good not to put it on the P.T.D.C.

Q: Should I have pancakes for lunch?

A: You should always be eating pancakes, Elvis. Merruh Chrimmus.


Steve Miller said...

Let me take this opportunity to speak in favor of peanut butter, banana, and mayonnaise sandwiches. Nothing seasonal about it -- but they're just weirdly good.

Send my card to the usual address please. And I'll send my care package to the usual address.

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