DIY Decor 1973 - The fab floor.

Is your house an ugly dump? Sure! It's 1973! Who's isn't? Let's get busy de-uglifying and totally fabulizing your pad, man! Do you hip to what the jive is? Of course you all of those things! We had so many great ideas, we had to number them just to keep them in no particular order! Shew! Let's get to hammering!

What are using for a hamper right now? The floor, of course! Here's a way to actually have a hamper without feeling like you're submitting to The Man. Make yourself a groovy jeans pocket hamper and hang it on the door! It holds literally several things before it basically becomes a denim sphere, and that's when you know it's time to do some laundry... if that's your thing! What it is, my man!

Are you tired of being jealous of the Molen Rnomjs that live across the street? Sure! We all do! Those smug Dutch sophisticates! Well, here's their secret: that's just an ordinary front door with monograms and stuff cut out of plywood and glued on! This project is so simple you don't have to wait to come down before starting! And best of all, it's guaranteed not to bring down the property value of all the other houses on the street - ever!

This wallpaper backsplash will last for years and years. The heat and moisture of the stove top will just bounce right off of it and never, ever soften the wallpaper paste holding it up there. Good thing, too, because you'll never want to take it down! Neither will whoever buys your house after you die! This is one groovy idea that will be evergroovy.

Time is money, right? Sure! We all do! Show the world how money your time is by spending several hours of your time dolling up this five dollar lawn chair. Sew this lawn chair cover with directional arrows to help you make a perfect two-cheek landing, even after a few glasses of "zero"... whatever that is! Right on!

Do you have some creepy sort-of-French stuffed dolls that need punishing? Well, give them something to think about with this home made doll stockade. Just cut some perfectly good red acrylic and hinge it with 1" piano hinges on the back. After a few days stuck in this thing, those dolls will think twice, you bet! What did they do to deserve this? Just look at them. They know what they did! Thanks for ratting them out, lion... or maybe bear?

Does your couch just sit there, and never float out from underneath you when you're about to sit down? Enough of that! Hang your couch from the ceiling and start swinging! Live in an apartment? Well, don't let Old Man The Landlord tell you what you can't do to his or her building that isn't your property! You may need to go into the apartment upstairs to add some fender washers to the ends of the lag bolts that poke up through the floor, but you just know they'll understand the importance of swinging. By the way, a couch this wiggly may not be the best for saving sex on, but that's what the front yard is for! Sock it to me!


MrsBug said...

Well, at least the couch is easy to vacuum under!

cyclotronboy said...

Of course, these swing couch is just the older, skeevier, DIY-cousin of the "swing chair" which is still available through several unfortunate furniture dealers. I had the pleasure (?) of tying one of these to the roof beams of a knot-deficient friend's loft once - couldn't get the idea of his crazy-sex chair out of my head for months.

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