Lea & Perrins - Mocking steak.

So, let's say it's 1968, and you've got yourself a little "worst economic crisis since the Great Depression" to enjoy with Western world. You've got a few pounds of ground meat and some veg. What do you put on the table to feed a family ? Sure, you could put together a nice honest classic like shepherd's pie, but what if you want to add that little extra dash of depression by reminding your family of what you can't afford? Lea & Perrins to the rescue!

Let's make a mock steak! Along with all that meat and a few strips of fat bacon, you've got the makings of a hilarious parody of a T-bone steak! Ha ha ha! Being desperate can be fun!

Using the ground meat and some other stuff, you can mash up a batch of multifunctional food putty that be pushed into the plausible shape of a fancier meal. Assuming your family have never seen or eaten an actual steak before, their stomachs will never know what hit them!

See? You can use some strips of, uuh, "bacon" to simulate a nice thick rind of fat. Remember to start with lean pork! Fatty pork would be gross and icky!

Broil the whole thing up while constantly painting it with meat flavored sauce and in twenty minutes you've got some kind of thing that people can probably eat and tell themselves it was kind of like a steak in a way! Toss on a couple of carrot strips to perfectly duplicate a T-bone, and you're ready to make them eat it! Fun-nuh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See how much better this is than hamburgers or a casserole or shepherd's pie or any of those other things that don't remind your family that you're deprived? Yeah! You see! And  because it's 1968, later on you can take your mind off your recent dinner by listening to some Steppenwolf and smoking that reefer that you spent the grocery money on. Problem solved! "What economic crisis, man?"

Click for big.


cyclotronboy said...

Almost as good as this nugget from the CAI Encyclopedic Cookbook:

MrsBug said...

@cyclotronboy...good lord. A crown roast of weiners? That's some first-level deception right there.

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