4/6/16

Astronaut Training - The roationater.

Click for big.


Joke #1 - The mono-axis rotational trainer prepares astronauts for work in the unforgiving depths of Grammar School Version of Outer Space.

Joke #2 - Always in favor of over-preparation, NASA astronaut candidates are trained for the inevitable difficulties involved in turning on the hose in orbit.

Joke #3 - "Nope. Listen, Don. We're not getting any thrust at all from your current shape. Try to make yourself more twisty, like a propeller.     ...and I don't want to hear any more remarks about there being 'no air in space so propellers don't work'. Which one of us is an astronaut and which one of us is an astronaut trainee, mister?   ...Right. I thought so."

Joke #4 - "Sir, I believe the space capsule is a little out of scale relative to the planet. Oh, perspective? Aah, got it."

Joke #5 - There are fringe groups that believe the moon landing was staged, but their arguments lack any credible evidence.

Joke #6 - "Sorry, sir. I just poked a hole in Indonesia with my wrench. Shall I try and patch it? Over."

Joke #7 - Astronaut training for the delicate procedure to get free Cinemax in orbit.

Joke #8 - (Fig. 12) Once the clutch cable and input shaft are disconnected, carefully lift the astronaut form the capsule's engine bay. You are now ready to swap in a super sweet Chevy crate motor of your choice.

Joke #9 - "Oh, no, children! I've begun an uncontrolled rotation! Which of my thrusters shall I use to correct it? Shall I use my starboard lateral thruster????? Shall I??? Or should I use my port lateral thruster????? You'd better think quickly! I'm becoming ever so disoriented!" (Insert sound of children shouting advice.)

Joke # 10 - Astronauts in orbit on the International Space Station train to someday work in the harsh environment of fake space on Earth.

Jim D. Wasted no time in sending us this "reference obscura". Those who grew up watching Ray Raynor may get it. "Pow! . . . . . . Pow! . . . . . powpowpowpowpowpowpowpowpow!"
Mr. Fancy ICantSeeAThingInThisHelmetPants_2 was first runner up in the Get It in Quick Olympics with this combined Star Wars / PBS themed joke #12 - Early PBS trial broadcast of Bob Ross' "Painting Space, Man" was doomed to failure, as Bob found he could not paint "Happy Little Stars" while his signature "fro" was sandwiched under his helmet and he was "high as fuck".

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.    -Mgmt.]



3 comments:

Jim D. said...

Pow! . . . . . . Pow! . . . . . powpowpowpowpowpowpowpowpow!

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Ray Raynor's TV pow? Am I right???

[Mgmt.]

Anonymous said...

Joke #12 - Early PBS trial broadcast of Bob Ross' "Painting Space, Man" was doomed to failure, as Bob found he could not paint "Happy Little Stars" while his signature "fro" was sandwiched under his helmet and he was "high as f*ck".

Mr. Fancy ICantSeeAThingInThisHelmetPants_2

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