Knitting & Crochet Designs for Female Space Colonists.

Greetings, colonists! This day, The Astronet brings us news of the most current exo-garments for you to acquisition, for the enhancement of our continued existence. All praise to the Mighty Engines!

Observe the trappings of our model, Fnu! Fnu is barely concealing her appropriate shame in this daring ensemble of perforated multiplicity! Fnu's immodest contrivance consists of a mammary-wrap, pelvic cradle, and shame cape, all of cunningly interwoven linearity fibers.

Each piece is optically transparent in the main, such that they provide negligible protection from alpha particles, as well as from the observation of male-designated appreciants, if you know what I mean! Attired in such things, Fnu will have her choice of partners at the Mate Selection Ritual, and all shall be eager to make their seed with her! Lucky Fnu! Thank The Leader!

Consternation and uproar! Let all in the Collective get a load of Glebda and Framulette in their matching linearity fiber coordinates! No, not galactic coordinates, silly! We have, of course, lost the knowing of galactic coordinate calculation, as the Flight Directive Journals were destroyed in the Wreckage of our Glorious Arrival. This is known. No, we mean to speak of cooridnated  fashions!

Glebda is looking kicky in her pink tank and promiscuity skirt! The tank can be fitted with attachment points for a standard EVA helmet, so she can venture outside the arcology without missing a beat. So, she'll be a sensation at the moisture farms, as well as the Joint Ventilation and Filtration Committee Selection Panel Discussions!

Meanwhile, Framulette has chosen to add the thermal retention jacket to her yellow ensemble! All garments, again, are selectively transparent on a per-pixel basis for uncontrollable potential partner titillation! Shameful and delightful! Praise the Mighty Engines!

Astonishment! Is that The Lawgiver, come to view the fashion proceedings with us today? Wait! No! It is not the Lawgiver, but merely our model Zapua in her self-made authority smock, with a jaunty waist tie! Suddenly, this hideous Lawgiver charade is amusing to me, for her authority smock is like unto that worn by the Lawgiver! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, that clever Zapua!

Zapua may very well be in radio contact with The Lawgiver, thanks to the high-fidelity earcups built into her hair arrangement. The earcups are receptive on the inter-dome security bands as well as the general use bands, and feature redundant I/O error correction, with total harmonic distortion of .004%. That's what I call hair with style! We'd better be careful what we say around Zapua! Ha ha! Thank The Lawgiver!

To become eligible for these fine garment units, see your object registrar and simply fill out the requisition form, and transmit your inquiry to Central Control via the next communications beam.

Thank The Leader! All Praise to the Mighty Engines!


Michelle_Randy said...

As someone who is learning to crochet, I find this highly amusing.

Randylou said...

You didn't mention the Princess Leia cinnamon bun hair-do!

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