1/13/17

Up Your Decor - How's your interior?






It's winter, decorators! And that means it's time to get excited about some winter interiors! How's your interior? It's time to give your interior a good hard look and decorate the heck out of it!

Spring will sproink at your house if you fill a room with this fabulous fern theme! Little Spermfort and Doilette just love to sit in repose, lazing away any old afternoon in a pink pinafore and blue sport coat. Spermfort is playing with a hilarious mesh shower sponge and Doilette can't keep her eyes off the action! Spermfort's showing a lot of leg today, for some reason! Oh, that little rascal! You just can't keep pants on that lad! Just be sure to keep your hands out of the punch bowl in the curio cabinet, kids - we're saving it for Easter!
"What shall I play with this morning, mother dear?" "You may play with the hearse for one hour, Crumulus, for then it will be time for your Remaining Perfectly Still in the Darkness practice." Your house will have the warm coziness of a chest cavity with this "Arterial Daydream" treatment from Galthen Valdheim & Sons Interiors! It's just the thing to take the chill out of those early spring mornings when the icy glare of the morning sun is more than your tender eyes can handle! The white cat may seem a little out-of-theme, but she'll feel just right on your lap while you're monologuing to that pesky MI6 agent that somehow got past your ravenous mechanical lobsters!


Bright and cheery is the name of the game in your new "Flower Imperative" kitchen! The walls simply scream "happy" and the refrigerator says "right now"... as if there was any question! Your family will know how much effort you put into your positive attitude every time they try to have a meal! Tasteful restraint is shown in the simple brick pattern of the flooring! But you never know - just ahead is a whole weekend to go out a pick up some more wallpaper! Why not add it to the shopping list on the chalkboard, after "guttfe", "aeqkc", "padge", and "divee"!
Ooo, la la! Your every movement will be like a tinkling, golden symphony in this bathroom by Flavio Garotti. It's "tres eleganto"! The carpet is the perfect absorbent solution to your various bathtime drippings, and the swirlicues of the fixtures will make everything you do feel just a little less strenuous! Who's the most sophisticated princess in the whole bathroom? You are, stupid! Don't use the soap! It's decorative! Don't use that one either! It's just for company. Maybe there's some regular soap under the sink or something? Wee, monsieur!

3 comments:

Michelle_Randy said...

These decorating features are my favorites.

Also, golden showers seem to be having a moment (oh, I went there!)

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Your house must really be something!

[-Mgmt.]

Steve Miller said...

Looks vaguely familiar. Was this from one of your C.A.R.E. packages? Sadly, I've lost access to that dumpster.

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