Hall of Heads - Part 3

This morning brings us four new entrants into the Hall of Heads. In case you missed parts one and two, Disembodied Floating Heads were very popular in days of yore, and usually they looked unwilling at best, and creepy at worst. Let's see which one is the best of the new bunch, shall we?

First, we have Louis Schirmer, a man determined to show the world how much joy and amazing profit one can get from raising orchids in your living room.

Well, for one thing, he calls himself an "orchidist" and even calls himself the "Dean of U.S. Orchid Growers". I don't know if the Greater New York Orchid Society understand the debt they owe Mr. Schirmer, but it looks like they've stood on the shoulders of a giant to get where they are now. Where are they now exactly? Well, all over New York, by the looks of it. That's why they're the Greater new York yadda yadda society. Good for them!

Yeah, fine. But what about his DFH qualifications? Well, nice glower. He doesn't look like an especially jolly flower dean. He sort of looks like he may be dead or just really really tired. Must be hard work keeping up with all those flowers in your living room. Also, he's chosen to run his picture with the neck cut out. Good job! That makes him look extra disembodied! No neck, and his picture looks dead. It's looking good for Louis Schirmer!

Next up. L.C. Lane, B.S., M.A. President, RTAA & Pierce Schools. Who? Yep. THAT L.C. Lane. Who?

Well, crafty old L.C. wants to teach you how to fix TV's. Sounds familiar. Why, Lane is trying to horn in on R. L. Sprayberry's market! A bold move! I like the in-your-face directness of Lane's approach. Kudos, Lane. Sprayberry's not going to take this lying down. Watch your back.

 What about L.C. Lane, B.S., M.A's DFH? Hmm. Bored expression. Pouchy cheeks. Mr. Whipple moustache. Hair parted with a slide rule. Well done. Ah, but he didn't clip out the neck, losing him valuable creepiness points. Lane has a great Django Reinhardt look to him, and he's assaulting Sprayberry on his home turf. I hope to see good things from Lane and his disembodied floating head in the future.

Who's next? Hm. Drunk cop. Nice skeptical expression. Apparently crime detection "exciting, profitable" and... "pleasant"??? Drunken policeman, I like your mushy face and your misunderstanding of the word "pleasant", but you're no Louis Schermer.

Anybody else? Clearly fraudulent baldness advert, you're up. Show us what you've got!

Ridiculous claims of 20 minute hair growth don't win you squat in the HoH, Baldness ad! Show us your DFH! Hmm. Clip art Happy White Male. Nice angry bald man stuffed into the background. His mouth is covered up as if he doesn't have the right to speak for being so bald. Nobody wants to hear what baldies have to say? Wow, that's pretty offensive. Well done. But you know what? Honorable mention only! Come back when you've got a photo cut out with safety scissors!

Winner: The corpse of Louis Schermer, Orchidist and Dean of U.S. Orchid Growers! DING!


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