6/10/10

Savings and Loan - Strange Meadow Lark

Joke #1: "*Gasp!* Oh dear! Honey, we've been robbed! I can't find my crystal candy dish!"

Joke#2: "...and police are still on the lookout for two men wanted for a string of armed robberies. Both are caucasian males. One is approximately six feet tall and has a beard. The other is just under ninety five feet tall and may be carrying a medium sized house. Both should be considered armed and dangerous. We now return you to Jack Parr already in progress."

Joke #3: "Bobby, remember what I said. After your program is over, I need you to go and mow your bedroom. And keep an eye out for that darn gopher. He's got my keys."

Joke #4: The lighter side of home foreclosure.

Joke #5: "..and not only are returning veterans eligible for discounted vocational training. America's soldiers can look forward to choosing from a variety of low-interest loans that they can use to buy a meadow, prairie, or sward."

Joke #6: "Honey, I've been thinking. You're doing well at the factory and we're making our bills without any trouble, so I... Well, I'll just come out and say it. Let's buy a wall!"

Joke #7: "There's nothing more refreshing than a G.E. air conditioning system, friends. Imagine enjoying your summer, cooled by the latest climate control technology. If you think you're ready to take advantage of our trial offer, just call this number and we'll send out a G.E. technician to demolish your house.This is a limited time offer. Don't wait!"

Joke #8: "Honestly, Barbara, if your sister 'just pops in' for one more unannounced visit, I'll... I'll... I swear I'll go and buy a door, install it and then lock it! Don't tempt me! I'm serious this time!"

Joke #9: "Oh gosh, I'm sorry Barbara. That casserole is coming back on me again. I need to go use the bathroom,  I'll use a tree farther away from the living room. I'm sorry about last time."


(Tip of the hat to anyone who recognized "Strange Meadow Lark" as a reference to Dave Brubeck's song of the same title, the album of which was mentioned on yesterday's post. Yeah, I didn't think so.)


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