Hitler Stamps - Evil by post.

Dear valued potential customer,

Of all the freaky-deaky events from history, none will stand as a hideous reminder of evil gone sadly awry more so than the Hitler Postal System.

Started in 1939 as an innocent evil enterprise, the HPS as an enterprise, was started innocently enough. Hitler saw that there was a need in  newly-conquered areas of Europe for an evil option to the ubiquitous and non-specifically evil "Laterbringer Postworks Der Silesia", which would only occasionally deliver parcels in an evil way. Hitler filled the need for an evil-based postal system and the HPS was born.

Initially, the Hitler Postal System only distributed random symbols of terror to citizens, say, fire, blood, or a burned doll. But eventually the HPS began carrying parcels actually sent by real people, but brought to customers' homes in a state of evil. It was not uncommon to find a letter delivered in the mouth of a goat's head, or to find your package delivered to your sitting room window via a large stone.

Rates were generally affordable, ranging from one to eighty K's, which apparently was one of the more valuable letters of the alphabet at the time. Prices varied, depending on the amount of evil required to bring the parcel to the customer with adequate horror.

Sadly, though, customers almost immediately tired of terror and demand for evil deliveries fell off sharply. Also, the Nazis  lost the war.

Now these rare Hitler stamps can be offered to creepy weirdos like you, to cherish and mutter over. They are our introductory "thank you" for ordering our booklet "How to Collect Stamps", the most popular volume in our "You really need a book to explain this to you?" series.

In the coming weeks, you will also receive these helpful booklets as a member of our club:

"How to Sleep"

"All About Sitting - Beginner's Guide"

"How to Lift a Cake"

"How to Collect Shrubs and the Lesser Bushes"

"How to Grumble About the Government"

"How to Stare Intently at Children"

"Here Comes Wood!"

"Advanced Sitting - The Challenges of Sloth"

"Getting Started with Ants"

"Sitting, Book 3 - Master Sitting Drills"


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