Vacutex - Black ops.

Health Week continues here at P.A.G. Towers. And Sue's right. We need to find some beauty products for the guys. Trouble is, the vast majority of guys don't want to be beautiful. I've seen loads of ads in Popular Mechanics asking "Ruptured?". I really wanted to post an ad for a truss. I really did.
All I could find was this thing. It's a blackhead gun. But see the picture of the guy with the girl clawing at him? This is for guys. Besides, it was published in Popular Mechanics, so it's for guys, right?

I love your gaping pores. So empty!
"Look attractive instantly!" Wow, that's quite a claim. Not "more attractive" or "less off-putting". "Attractive instantly". There's not even an asterisk there to direct you down to the fine print: "*so long as your only obstacle to attractiveness was a few blackheads." They promise their blackhead gun will make anyone attractive, period.

God, I really would rather be talking about hernias right now. It would be more horrifying, but less disgusting.

So what's a blackhead? Well, children, a blackhead is when your skin - jeez, this is bringing the tapioca right to the top of my chimney. Why is it that I can deal with something that happens to everyone but not describe it? Bleah. I'm taking a long lunch. Look it up on Wikipedia for yourselves if you want to see loads of pictures. I haven't checked, but I'm sure they're there. I'm just going to post this picture of Dr. Zoidberg and call it a day.


More health tomorrow!


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