Big Red Pump

Joke #1 - "Okay, Ron. We've opened it all the way this time. Try flushing again."

Joke #2 - "Wait. Cut. Hang on a second, guys. I'm getting some kind of noise coming through on the recording. Some kind of loud 'pumping' sound."

Joke #3 - The artificial aorta was still in the experimental phase, but in extreme cases like this, untested procedures must be considered. The patient was ready for implantation and seemed stable. However, there was always the risk of rejection issues."

Joke #4 - "Hey guys! Guys! Does this remind you of anything? Huh? You know...? Ha ha. Good one, right? Right?" The new guys at Enormous Pumps, Inc., always made that joke in their first week.

Joke #5 - Stan was puzzled. There was still that troubling variance at 75% flow rate. Was there a flaw in the casting that had been missed by QA? Maybe he'd try hitching up his other knee on the pump platform and see if that gave him any ideas."

Joke #6 - "Jeez, I dunno, Ron. This is the biggest one we have. Maybe it's your diet?"

Joke #7 comes from brainthought. Thanks, brain! - Bill suspected nothing, but Carl and Tom both knew soon the control room would be a Bill-Quarium. 


Joke #8 is from John Josef. Thanks, John! We didn't know you had in in you! - The three men waited eagerly as the AC Sonic Pump-O-Vac prepared to begin its stunning interpretation of la Boheme.


Joke #9 Comes to us from Anonymous 2, via the Sub-Etha, round the galaxy, round the clock. Thanks Non2! - Just then, Arthur realized he was at the wrong end of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation's "Big Red Galactic Pig", and hadn't had his hand in it's mouth at all.

Joke #10 is another pumpy submission from Fil! Thanks, Fil! - Startling new images reveal classic radio programs were equipped with technology far more advanced than previously believed. Though the tapes have long since disappeared, this image purports to show a young Carl Gluck (CBS Radio Network, circa 1940) at the microphone, while his assistants operate the oldest known auto-tune processor.

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.    -Mgmt.]

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