Rear Twindow

Home improvement for genetic replicants news now, from 1957! Dateline, isolated meadow. Two identical humanoids build a house together far from civilzation, and they like to save money on heating and cooling bills. What replicant doesn't? Am I right, people?
If you wanted to sell a product in 1957, you'd better convince people it's MODERN. With WWII a still-recent memory and industry booming all over the place, everyone was keen to get the whole "future" thing going, post haste! What was truly modern in '57? Double-paned glass, goddamit! Gimme some now! A layer of air sealed between two sheets of glass creates a nice thermal barrier... at least, nicer than one sheet of glass.
But what's with these clones? Either they're living a hundred miles from anywhere, or their front door is on the back of their house, which opens on a spacious multi-state back yard. What do these duplicates know, to get them relocated to a verdant null space with no roads or sidewalks? Probably something about DARPA cloning experiments, duh. Looks like they're browsing the Sears catalog deciding on a new pair of dresses. Or maybe a third self?

Having your front door on the rear of your house would be handy if all your friends were woodland creatures. It would save them the trouble of walking round to the front of the house when they come to visit. Also, it would place Jimmy Stewart in the implausible position of being confined to a tree in order to spy on you and generally witness your murder and stuff. But then, he'd be super scared when the raccoon who murdered you came over to Jimmy's tree to try and push him out the window... of the tree, or something. Hey! You think this stuff is easy? I'd like to see you do better!
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Michael Leddy said...

What happened to their legs? Yipes.

Fil said...

Good call, Mr. Leddy. Had not noticed the missing appendages. These genetically created mutant blobs must've been from an early batch, when cell-division would begin to breakdown some time after the torso. A scientist with a confused sense of compassion probably felt they deserved to live since they each had a brain AND organs. Brainiac philanthropist, great.

To the Editor: You are on fire. No, I could not do better and I wouldn't even try. You are snappier than ever, recently. For the sake of the twins, keep it going.

Rick Janes said...

Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the pix on this site and your writing. Having grown up in the '50s and having worked in advertising, graphic arts and publishing, your commentary kept me smiling. Thanks for the memories and the laughs.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Mr. Leddy - Re: legs. Clearly, the Twindows are of such insulating power that the replicants' legs overheated and melted. That must be some steamy reading they have there! Proper ventilation is a must, with Twindows!

Fil - Re: Fire. I regret the fire that I am on. The thermostat requires servicing. Thank you for your continued commentage! I take issue with your diagnosis of the critical leg-failure as outlined above. (See above).

Mr. Janes - Re: Advertising in '50s. You worked in advertising in the fifties? We shall require full account of all your super-hot escapades what with the sexy secretaries and chasing around the desk and Mad Men type stuff. Commence regaling at your leisure, or immediately if possile.

Thank you for reading, gentlemen!


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