Kooking Kornir - Grapeherd's Pie

Does your family think they've seen it all? Are they world-weary eaters who think that life's not worth living any more because they've eaten it all? Well, tell them to untie that noose until after dinner, because you're serving up our surprising grapeherd's pie!

Begin by combining some stuff you normally use for a pie crust. I dunno. Maybe flour and salt and some kind of lard or whatever. Combine it somehow in a bowl or helmet  and randomize it with a large spoon until it looks like dough. Roll it out on your counter and cut it into ten -inch circles. Tuck these into bowls to form the crust things. You know.

The previous evening, you should have gone out to your grape tree and dew-picked the season's best grapes at their peak of grapeness. Oh, you didn't? I guess you should have read this yesterday.

So, tomorrow, I guess, take your season's best hand-chosen grapes (either by you or some of your grape herders, if you live on a grape ranch) and include them in a saucepan with two cans of grape gravy. Grape gravy is much like chicken gravy, except that you hold the can up and say "This is for grapes! Shut up!". With the grapes and grape gravy fully included together, place it over a low flame or an overheating iPad 3 for fifteen minutes until the grape gravy begins to simmer. Now it's grapeherd's pie filling!

Spoon the filling into the pie crusts and add the circles of pie crust dough - that we should have mentioned you need to cut earlier - on top, to form kind of pie lids. You know, how pies have dough on top? Well, do that now. Bake in an oven, or four stoves arranged into a cube, at 300 degrees for 20 minutes. The pie crusts should stop looking like dough and begin looking like pie crusts... with that golden flakiness? They should look like that.

Serve as the main entree after a hard day in the grape fields. Offer a side dish, but don't expect anybody to have some, because they'll be too full of grapeherd's pie. Get ready for your family to stare in wordless astonishment! Opa!


Anonymous said...

Grapeherd's Pie!!! I know!

Anonymous 2 or Whoever

Steve Miller said...

Ever have a raisin pie? Well, raisins are just dead grapes (according to the ex-father-in-law...).

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

I think grapes are the mummies of the grape world. I like mummies in my cereal, just like Professor Farnsworth.



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