Hold the line. Love isn't always on time.

Joke #1 - "Yes. She's right here... Okay. Yes, I'll ask.. Honey, they say not to worry unless it's been more than four hours. How long has the erection lasted?"

Joke #2 - "Wait, she just walked in! *Cough, cough* I, errrr, well yes, Fire Department. I would be happy to meet you in the park after my wife goes to bed for some... fire safety. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye."

Joke #3 - "No, I wouldn't say 'forced entry'. She just sort of pushed her way past me. Oh. Okay. Bye... Well, they won't send a squad car  until you stab me or something. We might as well get started."

Joke #4 - "The call came from inside the house, you say? From under a feathered hat, you say? And a flower corsage, you say? Okay, I'll be careful."

Joke #5 - "Oh, no one, dear. Just talking to the insurance adulterer, I mean insurance ADJUSTER! Getting a cheater policy. CHEAPER policy, I mean! Philandering. I mean something about PHILANTHROPY! Because I'm going to have you murdered. I mean I have to BEAR THE BURDEN of, uuh, the family fortune or something. Jeez, i need a drink. How bout a drink? Thanks, money. I mean honey."

Joke #6 - "Yes. Yes, the smell is unbearable. Yes, even after a shower. No. Nothing covers it up. Uuh, I'm not really free to talk right now. She's standing right here."

Joke #7 - "Yes. Four large pan pizzas, with green pepper and mushrooms. Two liters of Mr. Pibb. Crazy bread, please. Dipping sauce. No, nothing for me, thanks. I'm not hungry."

Joke #8 comes to us from frequent flier MisterFancyHotBalls_2. Thanks, MisterFancyHotBalls_2! - That weird feeling Terry O'Quinn gets when he just KNOWS it's either Roseanne Barr or Kathy Bates standing behind him, listening to his conversation.

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]