8/2/12

Living Room Fords - Driving your houseboat.

Here in quantity-over-quality America, more is more. Want proof? Answer this question: what's more than what you have? More, that's what! Bigger is better. More is what you want. These two considerations trump all others in all situations with no exceptions. 1955 knew this, as evidenced by their vast two-page ad for the "living room plans in the '55 Fords!" Kick off your shoes and put your feet up on the dash. It's time to stretch out and possibly have a nap on the open road.
Hey! Move that tub of yours, buddy! No, you're not seeing things. Those aren't swimming pools. Those are the rolling hills of your new "living room" on wheels. Big bench seats accommodate your widest butt, and make for easy sliding as your massive Ford wallows around even the gentlest turn.

You won't even feel that bicycle you just ran over - only the mildest nudge against your backside from the mallow-soft cushions of your metallic-threaded seat. With a pillow-soft ride like this, you could run over things all day and still come home fresh and rested! But why would you need to come home? Your "living room" on wheels is home enough for a family of six humans or up to twenty badgers!

You like color? Who doesn't? The commies! Don't be a communist. Buy yourself a cavernous new '55 Ford in any of our mind-hurting color combinations and prove to the world that you love freedom... as long as it's the freedom to consume as much as possible at all times. We defeated the Nazis for a reason, and that reason is waiting for you at your Ford dealer. What else are you going to buy? A German car? Like that will ever happen!

Click for friggin' huge!



4 comments:

Steve Miller said...

Badgers? We don' need no stinkeen' badgers!

Couple random thoughts... while the illustrations are guilty of making these Ford interiors look like bath tubs (or swimming pools), are they really that much larger than today's car interiors? Cars today rarely have bench seats. And wide butts in the '50s hadn't a patch on today's wide butts.

Why does it seem that the larger the driver toady, the smaller the car? Knew a 6'4" guy in the '50s who drove Fiats. He wasn't wide, but it was kind of amazing to see him unfold and stand next to his car. But last week I was behind a Toyota Corolla and I swear the driver and his wife were so large their shoulders were rubbing.

But back to the pool idea -- perhaps some futurist missed the boat by not proposing lap pools (or at least hot tubs) for the cars of tomorrow!

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

You're right, of course, Steve. We're fatter than ever, and the continuing presence of massive SUVs tip us off to the popularity of automotive bigness. I just had to ding the ad for the oversimplification of "bigger is better", period.

Thanks for your automotive persoective, Steve!

[-Mgmt.]

Anonymous said...

I was a child of the 60s and my memory of the interiors is that they were really not all that comfy. There was no thought given to form-fitting design for the human body - particualrly if you didn't carry a lot of your own extra padding: the seats were basically a slab to sit on and one to lean against pretty much at right angles! No seat belts did have the advantage of freedom of movement, especially when you slammed on the brakes or hit something – every passenger pretty much did their own thing whether that was exiting through the windshield, taking a header into that massive dashboard or catapulting into the road.

Anonymous said...

I do remember the awesome V-8 engine in that 55 Ford! In a day when automotive sheet metal was not yet rolled to tinfoil gauge, you could just about hit 90 in half a block which was the only way my best friend drove. The body was not up to the abuse and rattled like an old farm wagon after three years, but heck, you traded in every two or three years anyway – that was someone else's problem. The 50s were flush years for middle America and those houseboat interiors were what consumption was all about. In those days you could have bought a house and a place at the beach for what a car costs today!

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