Gronk You Answer - Gronk answer you!

Dear Gronk,
Is is your experience that in Vancouver, the carpets match the drapes?
Curious in Georgia

Dear Curious,
Gronk never go Van-coo-ver, but have strong feeling about carpet match. Sometimes, Gronk feet go on wall, not just floor. Gronk not proud of this, it happen. So, carpet and drape should be same stuff.

Also, hair on whole body should be same color. If not, then maybe top and bottom of person come from two different person? Gronk not like think about that. No like.

Me Gronk!

Dear Gronk,
this not is you, is you is? http://www.plbsports.com/gronk.html
Auntie Beak

Dear Beak Aunt,

Grraaaaa??? NO! Gronk not know what "gronk flake" is. Gronk not like fake Gronk sell fake Gronk food! Gronk food not come in "flake" form! Gronk food come in form of lobster Thermidor with truffles in brandy sauce and steamed asparagus with sliced almonds! Ask anybody! GRAAA! Gronk not like!!! Fake Gronk is "sub-optimal"!!!

Me Gronk!

Hey Gronk
I Gargoyle
We2 no hooman study hard them crazy ones. Big haha!
See, USs laff Euros, me big auto u smallcar hahaha
Euros laff USs u car cant turn corners - too big hahaha
Bothem cars steat with wan
They wan-cars! hahahahahahahahahaha
Gronk good.
Nathan deGargoyle

Dear Nathan,

Gronk confused by question-that-is-not-question. Something about cars in US and cars in Euro? Gronk think you sound sophisticated. Well traveled. Gronk only go to community rec center for afternoon ping pong and then back to dumpster for quiet evening at home. Maybe if Gronk get car, Gronk could "expand horizons", whatever that mean.

Me Gronk!


Gronk is not a board certified therapist. Gronk is a celebrity advisor and life coach, and is a staff member of several support group outreach centers. His replies are intended for entertainment purposes only, and should be followed up by consultation with a qualified counselor or experienced therapist, probably a human.