Party Invitation 1974 - Stay classy.

If you had cracked the binding in your copy of the Chicago Daily News on Thursday morning, May 23 of 1974, you'd have found this color supplement from Jewel. (That's what we call Albertson's, here in the middle-west.) You would have thought nothing of it at the time, but if you had the foresight to place it in the  Irony Vault for like forty years, you'd have this, which is the same thing, but made hilarious.

Jewel of 1974 wanted to cater your backyard party sooo hard, they brought out the big guns: macaroni salad peppers, giant t-bones, where T stands for "exTra faT", and the tower of Barad-dûr in this Mordor of a festive spread, the Pineapple of Olives and Radishes For Some reason (POOARFSR).

"The dip is off. It was made by those who are Dead,
and the Dead keep it. The dip is off. Please try the hummus."

If some hero were to knock out the text and those green dead men of Dunharrow back there, one could right-click-save-as this thing for use as a brilliant party invitation. Here, let me heroically get that for you. You know what? The Anchorman 2 will be out on December 20th. You may want to use this as your invitation for your Anchorman 2 party. Drop in some text in the Not-Necessarily-Photoshop-But-Basically-The-Same-Thing application of your choice, and you're home and dry. You're also welcome. All in a day's work. Stay classy.

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Anonymous said...

I am definitely having Jewels (that's what we REALLY call Albertson's here in the Midwest)cater my next party. I yearn for the days when a 16-oz T-bone was considered an appetizer, and it was socially acceptable for adults to eat Little Debbie snack cakes in public.

I wonder if I brought this ad to the deli if our current Jewels could whip up a spread just
like this one.

Steve Miller said...

I await my invitation for your party. Think I've got one of those wide-collar shirts someplace... Save me a radish rose, please.

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