1902 Sears Catalog - Put your Hand Inside the Puppet Head.

The craziness from 1902 just doesn't stop. Have a look at this page from Sears. Why were they so keen on puppets back then? Maybe it was one of their few forms of entertainment back then, apart from the "New Invention of Germ Theory" and maybe burning witches. Maybe it was some kind of pre-vaudeville cornball comedy obsession or something. Sure, Sears was pretty much the only game in town as far as mail order was concerned, and they had fifteen pages of rifles, and six pages of pocket watches. why not have at least one page of your catalog's puppet section dedicated to the sale of baby puppets? I guess it makes sense if you thi... Huh? What's that? You're joking. Well, I've just been informed that, apparently, those are clothes for actual babies they're selling.

Like I always say, nothing is too stupid to become popular. So, why shouldn't 1902 develop some weird trend about dressing your baby in a garment three times the length of the child's body? Maybe it was aspirational? Maybe the hope was that the child would somehow grow legs to fill the length of the gown? A gold fish will grow to fill the tank it lives in. Even been to a Chinese restaurant and seen that huge aquarium with one huge fish in it that can hardly turn around? A baby confined to a three-foot long baby dress would presumably grow to be three feet tall, at which time the baby would need to shed the garment and find a suitable replacement, such as the grass collection bag from a lawnmower.

Ooo! better still... maybe it was like a lizard who can lose his tail? As you know, in 1902, Americans still lived in grass huts and were routinely chased by sabre-toothed raccoons. If the baby wore a long enough garment, the predator would bite at the trailing hem, which would tear off, giving the baby precious seconds to run away and make good the escape!

Or if the baby was really thinking clearly... he or she would return to the scene with an entire war party of babies, armed with pointed sticks. A family of babies could live for weeks on the carcass of one boar. Primitive babies of 1902 let no part of their prey go to waste. Even the hair of the beast would be fashioned into mustaches and goatees, to disguise their identities as they launched raids on other baby tribes. I think we could all learn a lesson from our baby ancestors, don't you?

This page from the Sears catalog show us a sample selection of "Infants' Long Cloaks". Such raiment was the favorite of wizard babies. Among the baby tribe, the wizard was most revered, whether he or she was a healer, shaman, or battlemage, all the baby tribe looked to the wizard baby to keep the family group safe and healthy. Of course, now, we know there is no such thing as magic

Those ignorant savages of 1902. They would believe anything.

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Anonymous said...

I'm more concerned about the fact that many of those babies appear to have no arms. And those that do have arms seem to have small, stumpy ones. With no hands. Was that a trend among parents, along with the long cloaks? Or are the long cloaks to hide your mutant, disfigured babies?

mandy said...

Memo to myself....Do the dumb things i gotta do, touch the puppet head.

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