Borden Starlac - Not necessarily for use in blancmange.

It's been a while since we heard from the unsettling mascots of Borden, Inc., but here they are in 1957, at the height of their creepy doll glory. And, better still, they're trying to sell you a renamed powdered milk: "Starlac".

In case, you're not old enough to have experienced the horror of powdered milk, first, thank your lucky stars. Second, go find your parents and thank them for never resorting to such measures as powdered milk in the lean times your family may have had. If you're powdered-milk-curious, go ahead and read this. Times can be rough when raising a family, of course, but I submit that powdered milk is a bigger waste of money than normal milk, because you'll never get to the bottom of a pitcher of powdered milk. Also, can you ever imagine saying "We shouldn't have wasted that money buying liquid milk."?

Anyway, the Borden monstrosities in this ad are, for some reason, going with a movie projector theme. First up on the big screen tonight - some words trying to make powdered milk seem less than disgusting. Dad cow (I've just been informed that's "Elmer the Cow".) is previewing the second reel. What could that be? News reels of  war atrocities inappropriately accompanied by calliope music? It could be no less wholesome than powdered milk propaganda.

From the planet Skyron, not Starlac.
The recipe in this ad is "Starlac Crown Dessert". I have to admit, it looks okay. Pink, yellow, and white are usually pretty safe cakey-desserty colors, and you can't go far wrong with those. This is basically a casting of chilled sugar goop. No cakey stuff to be found. That sounds a lot like a Blancmange, which famously tried to destroy humanity by winning Wimbledon in 1969. Could it be a coincidence that this powdered milk has a spacey name like Starlac? Of course. Don't be stupid.

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Jim D. said...

By coincidence, I introduced my young son to the horrors of powdered milk over the weekend, on a backpacking trip. Mix it with hot water, and pour it over your granola under near-starvation conditions after waking up hypothermic, and it's not that bad! Of course, we were using "Milkman" brand, which has some fat added back in to help stifle the gag reflex.

Steve Miller said...

Our powered milk was branded "Ann Page," but I'm still in therapy, years after the grocery chain was tossed upon the refuse heap of failed retailers.

Oddly enough, I still yearn on occasion for "Post-um." I used to yearn for "Eight-O'Clock Coffee," until I taste-tested the resuscitated brand. Probably a good thing Post is content to let their brand stay a fond (?) memory.

MrsBug said...

When I was growing up, my parents (pre-divorce) were involved in this powdered milk pyramid scheme thing, like Amway for milk. I am not even remotely joking. Of course, it was horrible (the milk and the pyramid scheme). Whether it was the milk or the pyramid scheme that contributed to the divorce, we will never know.

I actually do use powdered milk in our modern age, but never in anything where I can actually taste it. There are certain bread recipes I make in our bread machine that call for it.

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