Gillette Blades - They can make the pain stop.

Shaving news now, from 1937, brought to you by a terrifying, razor sharp mascot who looks like he's more than ready to open an artery for you!

"Ouch! The wind has made my skin so blamed tender, I can hardly shave!" You've been there, right? Skin is sore and red. All you want is a little relief. Then there's that one blade that pops up out of the dispenser and starts talking to you. Those big, staring doll eyes. The words that hold such promise of release from pain... from everything. It would be so simple. So easy. You would hardly feel a thing. And then, the sweet bliss of peace.

The eyes are full of answers. The answer. Somehow, those eyes - all at once so disturbing yet reassuring - tell you they want to be close to your skin, with the warm, pulsating vein so close below. He's so cold. Won't you help him warm up? So very close. He can almost see your blood. Almost taste it. Just, almost. So... easy.

Please enjoy the horrifying mascot from today's Gillette ad. You won't want to go anywhere without him, would you? He'd be so cold, without your warm, yielding skin to keep him warm. Print him out and carry him everywhere. Yeeessss, that's it. You're welcome!