Fox Trots Pants - WTFoxtrots?

More from The Seventies, today, when everyone was being 'scused while they kissed the sky. This ad for Fox Trots pants poses us with a mystery at every turn. Spoiler alert! It's a very clumsy sexual innuendo.

First, the horrible drawing baffles us with its too-scratchy hatching that only makes the already-confusing mishmash of imagery way too hard to decipher. So, the shirt has a face. Is it a human face? Or is it supposed to be a fox's face somehow? What's that bizarre flap under the nose/tie? Is that the mouth, because it's talking?

But the shitty drawing is just bonus weirdness. What is the caption supposed to mean? Was Planned Parenthood big news in 1970? Were Fox Trots just trying to be topical? Nope. It was founded in 1916.

In 1970, the sexual revolution was just hitting its stride. Maybe the joke is that the shirt can be "paired" with a different pair of pants every night, because of birth control? We did find this ad in Esquire magazine, the go-to periodical of ascendant douchebags of the time. They would have been wearing lots of "Acrilan" (polyester) pants, and slipping out of them for various women as often as possible. Could that be it?

Not satisfied with just the one reference to Planned Parenthood, Charles Meyers & Co. / Monsanto make a second run at it, just to be sure their implication of wanton promiscuity makes it through your hair helmet to your purple-hazy brain.

The P.A.G. Joke-Getting Research Panel had to puzzle over this weirdo ad for like half an hour to finally puzzle out the innuendo they were so desperately trying to communicate. Would an Esquire reader of 1970 have gotten it at a glance? Maybe if we were stoned on some basement-grown mary jane we would have caught on quicker? Oh yeah? How do you know were not? Foxy The Fox, give the people a knowing wink for us. There's a good boy.