Little Ads - Groovy Coolies

Today, we're checking in with our favorite decade that always seems to always have an itching rash on it's crotch, and will never shut up about getting a picture of Gandalf airbrushed on it's van: The Seventies.

Hi, The Seventies! How's that G.E.D. summer study class coming? Uh huh. Uh huh. Fascinating. Okay, shut up for a second.  Here in The Future, all we have to wear is our space helmets and spandex jump suits. Won't you please show us how to be groovy again? We'll just sit over here and try to learn a little bit about looking groovy and cool.

With sleeves like this, no one will question whether or not you can play Incense and Peppermints on your mom's Lowrey organ. The elastic at the elbows keeps the balloon sleeves from getting too crazy, so everyone will still take you seriously, down at the Jack in the Box. You're better than "elegant". You're "eleganza".

New Look leather hip-high jacket pairs groovily with your choice of pajama bottoms. Why be caught looking ungroovy in bed? Aaaayyyyyyy.

You know how all the kids at the recreation center are talking about bailiffs and how cool they are? Make them all look like jive turkeys in your bailiff's vest. Writing descriptions like this will become way easier, once we think of a name for that fabric that jeans are made from. "blue-jean fabric" and "wheat jean" might confuse people whose jeans are made from velour.

For only the equivalent of $225, this suit is 15% flax, 85% polyester, and one thousand percent vest! Sleeves could not contain the boldness and bravadoness, so they just blew off. Radio astronomers can still detect the echoes of that bold bravadosplosion in the background radiation of the universe, and this lucky peasant girl can still hear all that bravado too, by listening closely to this man's pants. What other secrets will his pants reveal? Hairbulb is by Mister Sicily, of Brockton Hair Experience, Brockton, Mass.
Click for big avatar version.

Click for big avatar version.


[lrf] said...

Oh, sure, you can make fun of his vest suit, but Marcia Brady can't get enough of it.

PhilAreGo@gmail.com said...

Yep! She can't peel her face off his thigh. I wonder what's got it stuck there.


Michelle_Randy said...

I'm sorry, Mr. Riverboat Gambler, your shirt will always be a Pirate Shirt to me. Ayyyy, matey!

Also, what is it with the 70s and vests?

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