Ivory Flakes - 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky.

Today's ad may look familiar-ish, to the obsessive PAG! reader with an encyclopedic knowledge of all our posts. You know who you are, and please stop leaving notes on my kitchen window. You're freaking my shit right out.

You may think that the subject of our curiosity is the sedated lady in the flowered dress, who is so special that she must wear gloves just to touch her own pristine bosom, to keep it nice.

Nope. She just looks stuck up and no-fun-to-talk-to. But holy smokes, look at those hips! No, wait. Those aren't her hips. Those are horizontal stabilizers, to give her greater maneuverability at high speeds. I assume her engines are smug-powered. She can use her stabilizers to go visit the space lady down below.

The real attraction here is this lady, sitting on her tuffet, admiring her stocking, floating through a planetary nebula while two stars go nova just a few feet away, completely discharging their quanta. Good thing she's looking the other way. She might be slightly blinded and vaporized.

When I first saw this ad, I thought we had already used it, it looked so familiar. But nope, it's just a different ad from the same year, with what looks like the same model, wearing different night clothes. However, she is no less enchanted by her stocking than her other self from our previous post.

She can't believe her frikkin eyes. That's one hell of a stocking. She almost dares not touch it, but it's so radiant, she cannot resist. Not like that other stupid stocking she left on the floor. What a piece of crap that thing is. She should throw that floor stocking into one of those supernovas. But she should take care to use some salad tongs so she doesn't burn herself. Supernovas are fairly radiant too, just like her finest cottons.