Pages lifted directly from How Do We Know?, a disappointingly sensible and worthwhile children's book from 1945, mostly about animals and the natural world. On the cover, two splendid children can be seen feeding a squirrel rare earth magnets, so that he may survive the winter stuck to the side of a dumpster, and once again caper and frolic, come spring.
After spending 27 pages teaching kids about animals, there comes a horrific two-page quiz. These images are unmolested, and exactly as they appear in the book.
"What is wrong?" "What is wrong?" What's wrong is that they didn't even tell them the names of these monstrosities.
6/30/15
6/29/15
6/26/15
Junior's Errand Cart
Readers, I hope you're sitting down. Please stand up and sit down again to be sure of your sittingness. Now, observe with horror this monstrosity from our past: plans to build a cold-war-era shopping cart, just for a boy! Yes, that's right. Children... CHILDREN!...were allowed out of the house, unaccompanied. Wait. it gets worse. The children were sometimes sent on errands DOWN THE STREET... ON THEIR OWN!... to BUY GROCERIES for their PARENTS! You will also want to shout in all caps when you see the horror. Prepare to witness an atrocity. Here are the stolen plans to construct this most hideous of weapons.
These "parents" (humph!) probably didn't even dip the boys in sunscreen before sending them out into the wastes of suburbia. Oh, the humanity. Citizens, it is because of the abduction and presumed devouring of all our school-age boys in The Sixties that the human race died out and there are no more people left. Irresponsible parenting, child slave labor and lack of round-the-clock protection were directly responsible for our extinction. Now you know why you're extinct. You're welcome.
These "parents" (humph!) probably didn't even dip the boys in sunscreen before sending them out into the wastes of suburbia. Oh, the humanity. Citizens, it is because of the abduction and presumed devouring of all our school-age boys in The Sixties that the human race died out and there are no more people left. Irresponsible parenting, child slave labor and lack of round-the-clock protection were directly responsible for our extinction. Now you know why you're extinct. You're welcome.
6/25/15
Metropolitan Life Insurance Company - Nature, It's Gonna Get Ya.
Summer is (more or less) here, Citizens! Get these urgent summer tips in your head, courtesy of MetLife in 1948!
And, just in case you were wondering what to have nightmares about tonight, please fail to enjoy this little song by Blue Wank, which has some background vocals with lots of reverse reverb. It makes a nice chant as you trudge through the undergrowth. "Nature. It's gonna gonna gonna gonna get yaaa..." May it shiver your timbers even more than nature does. Watch out for bugs... and commies.
Click for big. |
6/24/15
Blackhawk Vintage Classic 2015 - Pt. 3
Here's the last page of photos from the Fathers' Day weekend event at Blackhawk farms. More jokes or something tomorrow, with apologies to those who are bored by cars. Hang in there!
EMERGENCY UPDATE: Arthur Reginald NoJagsInMyPants_2 (Mrs.) Retired was saddened by the presence of only one E-type Jag. Let no one say we do not respond to reader requests. Fixed! Ding!
Oooo. A honking big Vee Eight Modurr (see below). Such a glorious noise it must have made. |
It must have spun around at some point. The wing is usually pretty hard to mess up. |
Race tires are really soft and sticky. Did they get shredded just because they don't like sliding sideways? |
This man's MG was running rich. I didn't want to bug him with questions, but he volunteered the information. |
Not the greatest feat of tracking the lead car on my part. It's blurry, but I still like the way the cars framed up. |
6/23/15
Blackhawk Vintage Classic 2015 - Pt. 2
More pictures from last weekend's Blackhawk Vintage Classic. Today's batch of photos features possibly my favorite thing from the event. The Shriners were there!
I only saw this Modus on its way to the grid for practice runs. I didn't find the car in its paddock. beautiful car. It looks like a mid-seventies Formula 1 car, but that's just a guess. |
A HANS (Head And Neck Safety) device and a really cool helmet. |
A Jag E Type. I couldn't tell if it was a V-12 or not. |
The Shriners were there, promoting a charity circus taking place that evening. Humanitarian works benefiting children's hospitals, funny hats, and kooky little vehicles. What's not to like? |
I never had a go-kart as a kid. It's a miracle I didn't become a Shriner just out of spite. Check out the airplane behind the go-kart. There's a clearer shot of it down below. |
The younger guy wasn't even looking at anybody, but still wore the glued-on grin. I would too if I had a mini bike. His dad seems to have a better poker face. |
Tebala Birds are GO! |
This group of Formula Vee owners all share a tent. They are either a team, or are just friends. Probably both. I caught up with them just as they were pulling out for practice laps. |
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