Showing posts with label bicycles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bicycles. Show all posts
12/11/17
5/16/17
BSA Gold Vase - Greatest Sports Model Ever
"Who?" I know what you mean. Apparently BSA made bicycles. If you're a Yank, you could be forgiven for never having heard of BSA, as they haven't had a presence in the U.S. market for a bunch of years, but they were a major player in England.
BSA stands for Birmingham Small Arms. They got their start way back in 1861, making guns. Unsurprisingly, a factory that made gun parts was pretty easily adaptable for making bicycle parts - you know, precision machining metal parts for long service life.
So, in 1880, BSA branched out into bicycle manufacture, with the Otto Dicycle, which looked like this....
Yikes. Perhaps BSA recognized that they could do better for themselves. Instead of building the kooky "Dicycle" for another company, they began making the more conventionally-designed "safety bicycle" under their own brand, later in the 1880s.
This led kind of naturally to building motorcycles under the Triumph brand, peaking in the 1950's and 60's. Later, when BSA got out of bicycles, selling off that part of their business to Raleigh.
Before they gave up on making bikes, BSA did make one of the best internally-geared hubs in history. Sturmey-Archer hubs were brilliant and nearly indestructible three-speed hubs that demanded nearly zero maintenance. They were on the best bikes back in The Fifties. You know Pee-Wee Herman's precious red bike? It probably had a Sturmey-Archer rear hub on it.
This ad proclaims the Gold Vase (the model pictured in the ad) as "The greatest sports model ever". Look at the size of that saddle bag. What did people carry around in 1950 when they were out "sporting"? You could put a loaf of bread in that bag... or a pair of shoes... or a pair of breadshoes.
Maybe you're feeling a little nostalgic for the BSA you had when you were a kid, and also English? Well, the Phil Are GO! Graphic Blandishment and Photoshoppery Brigade have harvested a couple of elements from today's ad and made up a shirt, which you can actually buy and actually wear, if that's what you're into. Maybe yellow's not your thing, or being a lady? Other colors and a bunch of different kinds of shirt are also up there, including man stuff. Here's the link.
So, in 1880, BSA branched out into bicycle manufacture, with the Otto Dicycle, which looked like this....
Yikes. Perhaps BSA recognized that they could do better for themselves. Instead of building the kooky "Dicycle" for another company, they began making the more conventionally-designed "safety bicycle" under their own brand, later in the 1880s.
This led kind of naturally to building motorcycles under the Triumph brand, peaking in the 1950's and 60's. Later, when BSA got out of bicycles, selling off that part of their business to Raleigh.
Before they gave up on making bikes, BSA did make one of the best internally-geared hubs in history. Sturmey-Archer hubs were brilliant and nearly indestructible three-speed hubs that demanded nearly zero maintenance. They were on the best bikes back in The Fifties. You know Pee-Wee Herman's precious red bike? It probably had a Sturmey-Archer rear hub on it.
This ad proclaims the Gold Vase (the model pictured in the ad) as "The greatest sports model ever". Look at the size of that saddle bag. What did people carry around in 1950 when they were out "sporting"? You could put a loaf of bread in that bag... or a pair of shoes... or a pair of breadshoes.
Maybe you're feeling a little nostalgic for the BSA you had when you were a kid, and also English? Well, the Phil Are GO! Graphic Blandishment and Photoshoppery Brigade have harvested a couple of elements from today's ad and made up a shirt, which you can actually buy and actually wear, if that's what you're into. Maybe yellow's not your thing, or being a lady? Other colors and a bunch of different kinds of shirt are also up there, including man stuff. Here's the link.
3/9/17
Bike Battery
Joke #2 - "You're right. The new riding position is really... Hey! You're not my coach! He's an AC Delco!"
Joke #3 - Using virtual reality, athletes can pretend they're charging a battery on an exercycle in their own home, from the safety of their own home.
Joke #4 - "Coach, I ran into the wall. Now what do I do? Coach?"
Joke #5 - Saaaayyy, you don't qualify as 'mechanical doping', do you?"
Joke #6 comes to us from Mr. FancyInfoPants_2. Thanks, MFIP2! - Photo of a young Vorbia Goatstain demonstrating how the "Super-Battery-Charged Assulator-A-Go-Go" forced her head into a low hanging light fixture, causing irreparable brain and ass damage(c.1967). Goatstain then won the lawsuit she filed against the company, & started the now popular "UP YOUR DECOR" home furnishing page seen here on P.A.G.!!! Way to go Vorbia!
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
2/7/17
Bike Boners Kill
This critical safety alert was sent in by Alert Reader Dave Pryor, who cautions all of us on proper boner management. Don't become a statistic. My road bike is about thirteen years old now, and I'm starting to look at new models. They sure are pretty. It's always a challenge not to have a total bike boner and overspend on a gorgeous new bike.
Those of us who are less than one hundred years old may need reminding that, at one time, "boner" was an innocent word. If you decide to click on the Dictionary dot com link there, be sure to click the little speaker to make the Dictionary dot com pronunciation robot say "boner". You can practically hear her eyebrows waggle, the way she says it. Naughty girl...
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/boner?s=t
boner2
noun
1.
a foolish and obvious blunder; stupid mistake.
Origin
1910-15, Americanism; bone(head) + -er1
Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2017.
So, a "boner" is a mistake made by a boneheaded person. That said, try to choose the right time and place to show your bike how much you care. Definitely not the middle of the street. And for chrissakes, watch out for the sprocket, man.
1.
a foolish and obvious blunder; stupid mistake.
Origin
1910-15, Americanism; bone(head) + -er1
Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2017.
So, a "boner" is a mistake made by a boneheaded person. That said, try to choose the right time and place to show your bike how much you care. Definitely not the middle of the street. And for chrissakes, watch out for the sprocket, man.
2/16/16
New Departure Triplspeed Hub - Decalomania?
If you have a bicycle, chances are its got a few gear ratios you can choose while riding. Also, it probably manages this by pushing the chain laterally from cog to cog with a "derailleur". As you can guess from the word, we have The French to thank for this invention. There is another way, however. A heavier, more reliable, more limited way, and that's with an "internally geared" hub on your bike. And, yes, apparently, in 1950, you could have one of these retro-fitted to your bike without replacing the hub. Crazy talk, I know.
The New Departure (That's a brand name.) Triplspeed was an add-on three-speed internally geared hub attachment that, at the time, was probably of pants-moistening desirability to any kid who dreamed of riding his bike up near-vertical inclines or at speeds beyond his ability to avoid personal tragedy. As we can see from the illustration in the ad, the boy pointing in wonderment at the rear hub is probably having his first-ever tumescence. Ah, youth. You never forget your first bike boner.
"So what's the big deal with an internally geared hub?" you say. "My Wal-Mart bike has eighteen speeds that I almost never use." Yes, you don't. But, your Wal-Mart bike is probably neither assembled or adjusted right, and hasn't been, ever since it came out of the carton, because that's Wal-Mart for you. Also, a bike engineered down to a Wal-Mart price point probably has gears that basically almost work properly sometimes, no matter how deftly it is adjusted. But most of all, it's a derailleur transmission, and they are, yes, lighter and cheaper than an internally geared transmission, and are also capable of more gear ratios than an internally geared transmission.
But, there are a few compromises with a move-your-chain-from-gear-to-gear type transmissions.
1) They tend to misbehave if you shift while honking down on the pedals, instead of just gently rotating the pedals.
2) They are open to the elements, and need to be regularly cleaned and lubricated. After one mountain bike race on a rainy day with the course ankle-deep in peanut-butter mud, I had about $200 in parts replacement to look forward to. Cables, bearings, derailleur, etc.
3) If you don't understand what you're doing, you will probably shift into a gear combination that it wasn't meant to handle. The biggest cog at the cranks and the biggest cog at the rear wheel are what is called a "crossover gear", and is a redundant gear ratio that can be reproduced by using different, more mechanically appropriate, cogs in different combination. Also, the smallest-with-smallest combination is another useless crossover gear. There are couple of them on any derailleur transmission and about half of the people on any casual bike trail are probably using one.
Basically, without going into too much detail, a derailleur bike is finicky and delicate in comparison to an internally geared bike. Old transmissions like New Departure, Sachs, and Sturmey-Archer were pretty much indestructible and fool-proof. Yes, they only had a few speeds, but you simply couldn't make them go wrong. You could shift while pedaling, even with the chain under load. You could shift to a new gear while not pedaling, and the hub would shift once you did start pedaling again. Since all the moving bits were inside a sealed unit (hence, "internally-geared"), they generally were maintenance-free. If you somehow did manage to get the internals contaminated, you could probably fix it by taking off the end cap, flushing it with lots of oil, and spinning it for a while.
So, why'd we abandon internally geared designs? We didn't. You can still get one, and they still offer all the benefits outlined above. They still are capable of fewer gear ratios than a derailleur, but all of the gears are useable ones. If you feel like paying for it, you can get an internally geared hub with nine or even as many as fourteen speeds. A nine-speed Japanese unit will probably cost about $300, but there's always the model made by Ze Chermans at the top of the heap. A Rohloff fourteen-speed hub goes for just under $1200. Yes, way.
If you read this 1950 New Departure ad, you'll notice that you can send away from a free sales brochure and also a free... "decalomania"? Double you tee eff is a decalomania? PAG Research and Googling Team, ASSEMBLE!
Anyway, this ad can also be mined for a few clip arts. Here are three of the kids' heads ready for use as your new avatar in whatever chat system or forum or whatever you use, if that's what you're into.
Last but far from least, there's the bike boner boy, boggling at his lucky friend's new transmission. He could be pointing at anything you want, if only someone would lift him out of the crowd of kids and drop him on a transparent background. PAG Graphic Blandishment and Photoshoppery Brigade, get you asses in here!
Boom. You're welcome.
The New Departure (That's a brand name.) Triplspeed was an add-on three-speed internally geared hub attachment that, at the time, was probably of pants-moistening desirability to any kid who dreamed of riding his bike up near-vertical inclines or at speeds beyond his ability to avoid personal tragedy. As we can see from the illustration in the ad, the boy pointing in wonderment at the rear hub is probably having his first-ever tumescence. Ah, youth. You never forget your first bike boner.
 |
| Planetery gears, and magic. |
"So what's the big deal with an internally geared hub?" you say. "My Wal-Mart bike has eighteen speeds that I almost never use." Yes, you don't. But, your Wal-Mart bike is probably neither assembled or adjusted right, and hasn't been, ever since it came out of the carton, because that's Wal-Mart for you. Also, a bike engineered down to a Wal-Mart price point probably has gears that basically almost work properly sometimes, no matter how deftly it is adjusted. But most of all, it's a derailleur transmission, and they are, yes, lighter and cheaper than an internally geared transmission, and are also capable of more gear ratios than an internally geared transmission.
But, there are a few compromises with a move-your-chain-from-gear-to-gear type transmissions.
1) They tend to misbehave if you shift while honking down on the pedals, instead of just gently rotating the pedals.
2) They are open to the elements, and need to be regularly cleaned and lubricated. After one mountain bike race on a rainy day with the course ankle-deep in peanut-butter mud, I had about $200 in parts replacement to look forward to. Cables, bearings, derailleur, etc.
3) If you don't understand what you're doing, you will probably shift into a gear combination that it wasn't meant to handle. The biggest cog at the cranks and the biggest cog at the rear wheel are what is called a "crossover gear", and is a redundant gear ratio that can be reproduced by using different, more mechanically appropriate, cogs in different combination. Also, the smallest-with-smallest combination is another useless crossover gear. There are couple of them on any derailleur transmission and about half of the people on any casual bike trail are probably using one.
Basically, without going into too much detail, a derailleur bike is finicky and delicate in comparison to an internally geared bike. Old transmissions like New Departure, Sachs, and Sturmey-Archer were pretty much indestructible and fool-proof. Yes, they only had a few speeds, but you simply couldn't make them go wrong. You could shift while pedaling, even with the chain under load. You could shift to a new gear while not pedaling, and the hub would shift once you did start pedaling again. Since all the moving bits were inside a sealed unit (hence, "internally-geared"), they generally were maintenance-free. If you somehow did manage to get the internals contaminated, you could probably fix it by taking off the end cap, flushing it with lots of oil, and spinning it for a while.
So, why'd we abandon internally geared designs? We didn't. You can still get one, and they still offer all the benefits outlined above. They still are capable of fewer gear ratios than a derailleur, but all of the gears are useable ones. If you feel like paying for it, you can get an internally geared hub with nine or even as many as fourteen speeds. A nine-speed Japanese unit will probably cost about $300, but there's always the model made by Ze Chermans at the top of the heap. A Rohloff fourteen-speed hub goes for just under $1200. Yes, way.
If you read this 1950 New Departure ad, you'll notice that you can send away from a free sales brochure and also a free... "decalomania"? Double you tee eff is a decalomania? PAG Research and Googling Team, ASSEMBLE!
Decalcomania, from the French décalcomanie, is a decorative technique by which engravings and prints may be transferred to pottery or other materials. Today the shortened version is "Decal"."Decalomania" is short for "decal"? Holy crap. I have never heard this before. Thanks, Wikipedia!
Anyway, this ad can also be mined for a few clip arts. Here are three of the kids' heads ready for use as your new avatar in whatever chat system or forum or whatever you use, if that's what you're into.
Last but far from least, there's the bike boner boy, boggling at his lucky friend's new transmission. He could be pointing at anything you want, if only someone would lift him out of the crowd of kids and drop him on a transparent background. PAG Graphic Blandishment and Photoshoppery Brigade, get you asses in here!
Boom. You're welcome.
 |
| Click for big. |
3/2/15
Polaroid Day Glasses - Where the sun oughtn't shine.
The Forties were a great era for ads. Wordy, super-square illustrations, and meticulous grammar. It's not always immediately clear what they're selling, though. Today, the P. A. G! Graphic Blandishment and Photoshoppery Brigade let their confusion lead them down a rather jokey path. Please enjoy.
11/25/14
Dead End Dirt Track - Bloody brilliant.
The July 12, 1947 issue of Picture Post has this wto-page article about fifty or so boys who made a dirt track in a vacant lot, using the bombed-out church next door as a staging area and/or clubhouse. The ten-year-old version of myself is indescribably jealous of three things.
-There were like fifty kids in the vicinity interested in racing their bikes.
-They had unrestricted access to a vacant lot, and all the adventure it offered.
-They weren't hassled by The Pigs, or fretful helocopter mommies bent on raising their kids to be pansies.
Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, there was a farm near my street, and maybe five of us were able to mess around a bit in the fields. Sometimes we'd manage to make a dirt track of sorts, and that would be great for a couple of days, until the farmer came along and tilled the field, ruining our fun by using his land for it's intended purpose. Boo. The kids in this article? They had a huge lot to screw around with for months. So frikkin cool. And, they had a great bombed out church to use as a pit area. Bad. Ass. The fact that they all chose to have a house rule against functional brakes only magnifies their badassery.
-There were like fifty kids in the vicinity interested in racing their bikes.
-They had unrestricted access to a vacant lot, and all the adventure it offered.
-They weren't hassled by The Pigs, or fretful helocopter mommies bent on raising their kids to be pansies.
Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, there was a farm near my street, and maybe five of us were able to mess around a bit in the fields. Sometimes we'd manage to make a dirt track of sorts, and that would be great for a couple of days, until the farmer came along and tilled the field, ruining our fun by using his land for it's intended purpose. Boo. The kids in this article? They had a huge lot to screw around with for months. So frikkin cool. And, they had a great bombed out church to use as a pit area. Bad. Ass. The fact that they all chose to have a house rule against functional brakes only magnifies their badassery.
Click on each image for an embiggened version, where you can actually read the text.
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It looks like their track is on a bit of a hill, with one off-camber turn and an
uphill section. That's more interesting that just a flat course. The only way
I could think to improve it would be to make it a more interesting layout than
a siple oval. Something more like a road course, with a long straight and a twisty
technical section in the infield. You know... more variety. This is not a complaint.
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