Phil Are Go!: July 2015

7/30/15

Ancient Birthday / Deathday cards

Denizens of The Future. Please enjoy these ossified birthday cards from the turn of the (previous) century. They're mean for birthdays, but they look downright funerial compared to our modern birthday cards, which tend to lean toward the hysterically giddy in style.

So you can send these to people for their birthday, or, with some light alteration of the text in Popular Image Editing Software of your choice, mail them to your loved ones' zombie / shade / spectre / lich / ghoul / skeleton warrior / wight or good old vampire. I'm sue he / she / it will be very touched you thought of them.

This one is from Aunt Hattie to Ferdinand.... Jalu?... of Princeton, Wisconsin. It was printed in Germany, so the sender and lucky birthday boy could easily have been recent emigrants.

These merry little fellows might be planning to invade Poland as they pose for this painting.

This card was sent to.... Wen Baswell? of Colchester Vermont in 1912, I think. The design does us the favor of including a clock, to make sure we don't overlook the inexorable toll of the bell chipping away the remaining hours of our life. Happy birthday, Wen! I'll tell you wen: soon. very soooooon!

"Good luck S. J Aeken, on your upcoming race at the Churchill Downs! Hope that hoof is feeling better. We'd hate to have to shoot you. And, happy birthday! Love, Mrs. C.C. Peltr....ruh... whatever my name is." ...Possibly dies while filling it out, and then shambles off to the mail box as a newly minted wight, to send birthday race greetings to one lucky horse. History is a weird, freaky tapestry.

7/29/15

Animal on the Street - Cecil the Lion.

7/27/15

Hall of Heads, Pt. 7 - An duel!!!

It's been a while since we crowned, with honor and laurels, a Disembodied Floating Head in the Hall of heads. Today, we bring you two plucky young hopefuls, eager to be immortalized for all of the times. Interestingly, today's bout is a duel! Let's meet the contenders!

In this corner, we have the terrifying B.L. Mellinger, of Mellinger Imports. Westwood Boulevard couldn't hold him. Los Angeles couldn't scare him. Mellinger's going to disembody himself and float all over your face. let's see what this kid's got!

He's got no neck. That's a strong start for this darty little head. Also, don't overlook the weird ink-bleedy stroke around him, and the overall darkness of his tonality, making his halftone dot pattern more of a screen door. Man, it's like he's just floating outside your kitchen patio, wondering if he can come in and have an onion. Man, that's creepy. The creep factor is only slightly let down by the fact that he's managing a half-assed benevolent smile. That's not quite a game face, Mellinger, but let's see what your opponent's got for us...

Well, that little kid has a complete body and a flotation device, so she can't possibly be our fighter. But what's this over on the right? The Beaconlite Streamline Auto and Boat Compass? The crowd gasps, and the officials rush to check the regulations as this surprise contender bursts from the page with all the bravado of a sextant! Whoosh!

Ladies and gentlemen, the Beaconlite Streamline Auto and Boat Compass isn't even a human... or a sentient creature for that matter! That's creeeeepy! No neck to hold it back! No face to help you relate to it; just an ovoid bubble revealing the whirling ball within, which probably points north several times per day. In fact, it's kind of got a Daft Punk thing going on!

This DFH is a shock to the Disembodied Floating head Fighting World, head fans! Mellinger's out of sorts! The crowd is all about the disturbing inanimate newcomer. Mellinger stumbles from the ring in disgrace as the referee fails to raise the hand of the Beaconlite Streamline Auto and Boat Compass! Winner!

7/24/15

Road America, The Hawk, 2015 - Part 4

Today it's just tracking shots. We were down into the center of the nearly completely circular turn they call The Carousel and lay in wait for our quarry. Slowly, they came. Well, not really. Kind of fast, actually. Quietly, they stalked through the Johnsonville Brat bridge. Well, really they were pretty loud, compared to almost anything you could think of. Anyway, here they are.

Exposure was way blown out. Colors were weird. Lots of correction was needed in developing the RAWs into jpegs. The "recovery" slider basically saved all these from being total trash. I've tried it twice, and I don't think I like this lens any more. Better next time for sure!