Knitting & Crochet Designs for Female Space Colonists.

Greetings, colonists! This day, The Astronet brings us news of the most current exo-garments for you to acquisition, for the enhancement of our continued existence. All praise to the Mighty Engines!

Observe the trappings of our model, Fnu! Fnu is barely concealing her appropriate shame in this daring ensemble of perforated multiplicity! Fnu's immodest contrivance consists of a mammary-wrap, pelvic cradle, and shame cape, all of cunningly interwoven linearity fibers.

Each piece is optically transparent in the main, such that they provide negligible protection from alpha particles, as well as from the observation of male-designated appreciants, if you know what I mean! Attired in such things, Fnu will have her choice of partners at the Mate Selection Ritual, and all shall be eager to make their seed with her! Lucky Fnu! Thank The Leader!

Consternation and uproar! Let all in the Collective get a load of Glebda and Framulette in their matching linearity fiber coordinates! No, not galactic coordinates, silly! We have, of course, lost the knowing of galactic coordinate calculation, as the Flight Directive Journals were destroyed in the Wreckage of our Glorious Arrival. This is known. No, we mean to speak of cooridnated  fashions!

Glebda is looking kicky in her pink tank and promiscuity skirt! The tank can be fitted with attachment points for a standard EVA helmet, so she can venture outside the arcology without missing a beat. So, she'll be a sensation at the moisture farms, as well as the Joint Ventilation and Filtration Committee Selection Panel Discussions!

Meanwhile, Framulette has chosen to add the thermal retention jacket to her yellow ensemble! All garments, again, are selectively transparent on a per-pixel basis for uncontrollable potential partner titillation! Shameful and delightful! Praise the Mighty Engines!

Astonishment! Is that The Lawgiver, come to view the fashion proceedings with us today? Wait! No! It is not the Lawgiver, but merely our model Zapua in her self-made authority smock, with a jaunty waist tie! Suddenly, this hideous Lawgiver charade is amusing to me, for her authority smock is like unto that worn by the Lawgiver! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, that clever Zapua!

Zapua may very well be in radio contact with The Lawgiver, thanks to the high-fidelity earcups built into her hair arrangement. The earcups are receptive on the inter-dome security bands as well as the general use bands, and feature redundant I/O error correction, with total harmonic distortion of .004%. That's what I call hair with style! We'd better be careful what we say around Zapua! Ha ha! Thank The Lawgiver!

To become eligible for these fine garment units, see your object registrar and simply fill out the requisition form, and transmit your inquiry to Central Control via the next communications beam.

Thank The Leader! All Praise to the Mighty Engines!

A procreant and His (or Her, or Shmer) Orb - Construction begin.

Greetings, colonist. Thank you for choosing to Make a New Life in the Offworld Colonies. Today's Instructional Narrative Requirement involves the construction and feeding of your youngling's Companion Orb. It is required by The leader. It is The Way. It shall be done.

Your procreant will require a Companion Orb for optimal biological development, as proscribed in The Flight Manuals, which were discovered, as you know, in the Wreckage of Our Glorious Arrival, in the Blessed Smoking Crater, so long ago. The Flight Manuals may not be contravened. The leader has spoken thus.

The procurement of a Companion Orb is precise and must be done exactly. So, inform your Dome Supervisor that you will be requiring an additional ration of oxygen to keep your mind sharp. Cerebral hypoxia has been the cause of many a misshapen Companion Orb, and many an unsuitable procreant youngling, resultantly.

Begin by venturing into the Forbidden Plains, where you must find a suitable Orb Seed Pod. Wait until the vegetative herds have moved on from their nocturnal encampment, and you will find many Orb Seed Pods in their leavings. Choose one of special roundness and give thanks to the Mighty Engine that brought us here, to behold such wonders.

In your hydroponics bay, cover the Orb Seed Pod in warm peat loam for not less than seven diurnals. Upon the seventh diurnal, your Orb Seed Pod should have sprouted. Praise The Leader! All thanks to The Mighty Engine!

In the fullness of time, your procreant will attach itself to the Orb, and your youngling's cycles will begin. On such a day, be sure to wear your protective radiation garment at all times. A cycling procreant and Companion Orb unity will emit not only alpha particles but also gamma rays rating very high on the Rutherford scale. Rejoice at the unity from a minimum safe distance of seventy meters, or simply hide in a trench for a few days, rejoicing from there.

Note that the orb is gaily bestriped in varying concentricities that are to remind us of the motions of the stars, which we once could read, but whose knowing is now lost to us. The bestripedness of the Companion Orb will determine the gender of your procreant. There are three bestripednesses, for the three possible genders of He, or She, or Shmee. The left-placed image depicts the bestripednesses of types A and B. Praise the Leader.






If your procreant is so chosen by The Mighty Engine to have a star-bestriped Companion Orb, then you are truly lucky. Huzzah! For, the star-bestriped Companion Orb denotes the birthing of the New Leader! Truly huzzah!

The youngling receiving a star-bestriped Companion Orb will not only become the New Leader, but Shmee will receive a triple ration of nutrient tablets, in preparation of battling the old leader to the death. Huzzah! Thank The Mighty Engine.

Kids clothes 1973 - Future nerdfect.

Greetings, colonists! Today, the Astronet brings you tidings of the most current garments for your younglings! Life on the offworld outposts can be rough-and-tumble, so protect your young while assuring their attractive appearance for the mate-choosing ritual! Let us observe the new designs immediately!

Your non-male youngling will be luminously lovely in this unity smock and trouser. Fabric is stain-averse Moleculon fiber, so no more soiled knees after participating in thrice-monthly hydroponic gathering! Green color reminds observers of the green hills of Earth while denoting your family's status as a level three, such has been deemed necessary by the Grand Observer. The white trim on the upper segment features a single chest roundel, indicating her optimal Tested Genetic Viability level. Let her pride show through the roundel! Her robot friend is wearing our new "retro Earth pinafore", as is the fashion for sub-humans this orbiting cycle.

Little boy blue, come blow your recreational sphere into fullness! Your brave little micronaut will be attractively adequate in this soft tunic and micro-pant. Both are matching Softoid Radion fabric simulant, providing comfort as well as nine-spectrum radiation shielding from seasonal near-orbit nova emissions. Abdominal pocket holds his oxygen dome access keycard, seeds, or other treasures. A decorative apple-berry reminds viewers of our shining hope of a return to an agrarian economy. Tunic can be removed for virility displays, as shown.

To become eligible for these fine garment units, see your object registrar and simply fill out the requisition form, and transmit
your inquiry via the next communications beam.