Showing posts with label 1899. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1899. Show all posts
3/17/17
Charlotte Corday and Marat
![]() |
Click for kind of big. |
Joke #2 - "You know darling, this is what I love about our relationship. We can just sit together for hours without talking, and just be."
Joke #3 - "Darling, it's half past three. The Girondins will be here in a moment. I do hope you're nearly finished with that silly little 'suicide joke' you've been going on about."
Joke #4 - "Oh! There's that noise again. Is there perhaps someone at the door, or was it the undercooked clams I made for your dinner?"
Joke #5 - "Darling, it's half past three. My parents, sisters, and their nine children will be here in a moment. I do hope you've nearly finished with that sonnet you promised me you'd write about them. ...Darling?"
Joke #6 - "Darling, after your bath, please promise me you'll tidy up those books up on the shelf. One of these days they're going to fall while you're in the tub, and, well, I simply shudder to think."
Joke #7 - "Jean-Paul, my sisters will be here in a moment. I'm going down to put the kettle on. Do please get out of the bath, get un-killed, and please put on the blue waistcoat I laid out for you."
Mr. FancyBubblesNoPants_2, who could not stop if he wanted to, sent us Joke #8, which is a silent but deadly. - "Oh-em-gee! Will you quit doing that Cyril!?! You know I can't open this window!!....Or at least wait until I leave the room, dammit!"
11/18/09
Madam Rowley's Toilet Mask
Madame Rowley wants to help you appear less repulsive and suffer from fewer complexion blemishes. By the remedial employment of her Toilet Mask, you can un-do the injuriousness of cosmetics and head-powders otherwise used by the foolish woman to perpetrate the larceny of illusory youth.
Worn thrice weekly, the Toilet Mask is filled with liquid-bleach and conveniently affixed to the face by the vigor of straps. As the lady tends to her other various daily ablutions, her complexion is being scorched free of spots, blemishes, gnomes, and pock-crevices, with no further endeavor carried out, apart from frequent face-washing with tepid water, application of burn tincture and fortnightly eye-bathing!
Your man-visitors and liasoners will find your face more healthful and tender. You will have the appearance of a younger woman, with skin like a delicious haddock fillet! All you need do is take care to keep the face away from open flame for three hours after treatment.
We would like to entreat you to send away for our illustrated treatise, with full particulars, via post-mail. Beware other toilet masks conveyed to the public by charlatans and market-usurpers! Order your trade-marked toilet mask today from Madam Rowley.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)