Showing posts with label 1954. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1954. Show all posts
4/24/19
11/15/18
9/18/18
7/26/16
2/13/13
Chicago Disappointment Parade - From the mists of time.
Some previously unlooked photos have washed up on the shores of The Present... flotsam of the swirling eddys of the universe of spacetime of auto shows, and from a time when it was so long ago we didn't even know what year it was. They're from 1953, '54, '56, and '60, and they were sent to The Present Day by alert reader and temporal adventurer Steve Miller. Thanks, Steve, whenever you are! Watch out for those rascals Hitler and Rasputin.
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| The Chicago Automotive Disappointment Parade of 1953. Chairman of the Show, Prolapsed Pete, showcases Ford Motor Company's answer to the desirable compact imports of that year, the Ford Thundersqueak. In this photo, he is about to remove his pelvis and three vertebrae, prior to entering the vehicle. Fortunately, the Thundersqueak had a convenient pelvis hanger for temporary storage while riding in the car. |
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| At the 1954 Chicago Automotive Disappointment Parade, future middle class trickle-downer Ronald Reagan proudly endorsed the 1954 Oldsmobile Eighty-Eight. The design for this model would remain unchanged until 2001, when a steering wheel was added. The famously traditional Oldsmobile customer base responded poorly to this "pointless gadgetry". |
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| The Pontiac Chieftain was a standout concept car at the 1956 Chicago Automotive Disappointment Parade. The vehicle was pedal powered, had no suspension, no heater, no radio, and no brakes. After the favorable response from show attendees, Pontiac's product managers were stumped as to how to make the car horribly disappointing for production, so they just made the body panels out of paper and charged $6200 for it. Also, they punched each customer in the ear. |
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| The 1960 Chicago Automotive Disappointment parade saw the introduction of "booth professionals", charismatic, friendly representatives who handed out brochures and recited marketing talking points through blank smiles. Baffled at the crowd's tepid reaction, auto makers would later introduce sexier outfits. Auto sales among the clergy skyrocketed. |
8/1/12
Hold the line. Love isn't always on time.
Joke #2 - "Wait, she just walked in! *Cough, cough* I, errrr, well yes, Fire Department. I would be happy to meet you in the park after my wife goes to bed for some... fire safety. Yes. Thank you. Good-bye."
Joke #3 - "No, I wouldn't say 'forced entry'. She just sort of pushed her way past me. Oh. Okay. Bye... Well, they won't send a squad car until you stab me or something. We might as well get started."
Joke #4 - "The call came from inside the house, you say? From under a feathered hat, you say? And a flower corsage, you say? Okay, I'll be careful."
Joke #5 - "Oh, no one, dear. Just talking to the insurance adulterer, I mean insurance ADJUSTER! Getting a cheater policy. CHEAPER policy, I mean! Philandering. I mean something about PHILANTHROPY! Because I'm going to have you murdered. I mean I have to BEAR THE BURDEN of, uuh, the family fortune or something. Jeez, i need a drink. How bout a drink? Thanks, money. I mean honey."
Joke #6 - "Yes. Yes, the smell is unbearable. Yes, even after a shower. No. Nothing covers it up. Uuh, I'm not really free to talk right now. She's standing right here."
Joke #7 - "Yes. Four large pan pizzas, with green pepper and mushrooms. Two liters of Mr. Pibb. Crazy bread, please. Dipping sauce. No, nothing for me, thanks. I'm not hungry."
Joke #8 comes to us from frequent flier MisterFancyHotBalls_2. Thanks, MisterFancyHotBalls_2! - That weird feeling Terry O'Quinn gets when he just KNOWS it's either Roseanne Barr or Kathy Bates standing behind him, listening to his conversation.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
6/18/12
Anacin - DFH twofer.
Disembodied Floating Head news now, from nineteen fifty-four! Anacin can make your head feel better, no matter how hard you grimace! It gives fast relief from neuritis and neuralgia! How fast? Look at the speed lines coming off the "fast relief" letters. That's pretty damn zippy, people! You'd better get out of the way, or you'll have all your ribs shattered by Anacin's speeding pain relief.
Headache ads never use the words "neuritis" or "neuralgia" any more. Why's that? Well, it seems that neuralgia is basically pain caused by a damaged nerve. And neuritis is - let's see here - pain associated with nerve damage. Good times.
If I had to guess, both of those problems are best treated by actual medical attention, from prescription drugs to surgery, and advertisers decided they were playing with fire to suggest that people would be well advised to just treat their problems with over-the-counter Anacin. In short, I think they were afraid of being sued to death by people who got the idea that Anacin was all they needed to treat their conditions. I can't really prove this, but every ad for headache pills on the old radio shows used to use these two words, and now you never hear them any more. There's probably a good reason, and "lawyer's caution" is the standard motivation that makes companies scale back their claims of product effectiveness.
ANYhoo, it's been a while since we had a Disembodied Floating Head worth speaking of around here, and today's are pretty good. They both have no neck, which makes them super disembodied, and these two are actually useful! One's miserable and the other is right as rain.
Thanks to the P.A.G. X-Acto Knife and Photoshop brigade, we are proud to present to our readers these two DFHs as PNG files, on transparent backgrounds in vivid yellowy-white and gray. These heirloom lady head replicas could sell at auction for - literally - tens of cents. We here at Phil Are GO! are authorized to offer them to you for a limited time at the breathtaking price of nothing much. Please right click and "save as" them onto your hard drive of choice while supplies last. Your mouse is standing by. Big and small versions of each. You're welcome.
Serving suggestions for these DFHs include...
-Copy/pasting them in emails to your children to let them know how irritated (or pleased) you are with them.
-Copy/pasting them in emails to let the water department know how irritated you are with them.
-Copy/pasting them in emails to the local authorities to let them know how irritated you are that they asked you to stop harassing the water department with weird cryptic emails.
-Printing them out and gaffer taping them on the windshield of your congressman's town car, because he or she won't go to bat for you in your battles with local government offices.
-Printing them out and pasting them on the windows of your congressman's house to let him or her know that you know where he or she lives.
-Printing them out and holding them over your face to let the jury know how unhappy you are.
-Wishing you had a computer so you could print or email these DFHs to the warden to show him or her how angry you are that you are not allowed access to a computer in your particular wing of the prison.
...and may more!
If I had to guess, both of those problems are best treated by actual medical attention, from prescription drugs to surgery, and advertisers decided they were playing with fire to suggest that people would be well advised to just treat their problems with over-the-counter Anacin. In short, I think they were afraid of being sued to death by people who got the idea that Anacin was all they needed to treat their conditions. I can't really prove this, but every ad for headache pills on the old radio shows used to use these two words, and now you never hear them any more. There's probably a good reason, and "lawyer's caution" is the standard motivation that makes companies scale back their claims of product effectiveness.
ANYhoo, it's been a while since we had a Disembodied Floating Head worth speaking of around here, and today's are pretty good. They both have no neck, which makes them super disembodied, and these two are actually useful! One's miserable and the other is right as rain.
Thanks to the P.A.G. X-Acto Knife and Photoshop brigade, we are proud to present to our readers these two DFHs as PNG files, on transparent backgrounds in vivid yellowy-white and gray. These heirloom lady head replicas could sell at auction for - literally - tens of cents. We here at Phil Are GO! are authorized to offer them to you for a limited time at the breathtaking price of nothing much. Please right click and "save as" them onto your hard drive of choice while supplies last. Your mouse is standing by. Big and small versions of each. You're welcome.
Serving suggestions for these DFHs include...
-Copy/pasting them in emails to your children to let them know how irritated (or pleased) you are with them.
-Copy/pasting them in emails to let the water department know how irritated you are with them.
-Copy/pasting them in emails to the local authorities to let them know how irritated you are that they asked you to stop harassing the water department with weird cryptic emails.
-Printing them out and gaffer taping them on the windshield of your congressman's town car, because he or she won't go to bat for you in your battles with local government offices.
-Printing them out and pasting them on the windows of your congressman's house to let him or her know that you know where he or she lives.
-Printing them out and holding them over your face to let the jury know how unhappy you are.
-Wishing you had a computer so you could print or email these DFHs to the warden to show him or her how angry you are that you are not allowed access to a computer in your particular wing of the prison.
...and may more!
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| Click for big. |
5/10/12
Schenley Whiskey - Relaxation and the history of saying "man".
Schenley whiskey is "the best-tasting whiskey in ages", apparently. Like this kid would know. How old is he? Twenty-three? Maybe it should say "the best-tasting whiskey in semesters!"
So, Schenley whiskey. Never heard of them. That's okay, because they've been out of business for a few decades, although there are some interesting ways in which the name lingers in our culture, if you care to read the stubby Wikipedia page about them.
The first thing that caught my attention is the slang use of "man". It's standard stuff now, but in 1954, this was the newest and hippest way to talk. Schenley was really trying to be "with it".
See? I looked it up in my copy of Partridge's Concise Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English. It's one of those weird kind of e-books that weighs a few pounds and has no copy protection. Partridge says:
"man. A coll.: 'an exclamatory form of address in common use all over South Africa, employed often enough quite irrespective of either the age or the sex of the person addressed. ... The beatniks adopted the vocative man... ex jazzmen's usage, itself taken from the very numerous Negro jazzmen.'"
The beatniks were just hitting their freaky stride in '54, so apparently by then, the lingo was already being used by advertisers to sell stuff to youth culture, thereby sounding the death knell of anything cool, as always. In short order, "man" would simply be assumed into the vernacular of Western civilization. It still technically qualifies as slang I guess, but you're not going to weird out your grandma by using the word as such. Some small percentage of fads stick to the wall and stay forever. "Man" is one of them. "Cool" is another, although that word has been overused to the point of near meaninglessness.
So what's a slang word that came and went, only to be dragged out of the closet on special ironic occasions? That's easy. "Groovy", "hep", and "gag me with a spoon" are all slang that wore out their welcome. There have got to be loads more of those. That would be a decent drinking game, if you're into those... and in a sorority. Take turns going through the alphabet naming obsolete slang words. A person with no contribution takes a drink. It'd take hours to get drunk playing that game, there are so many lame slang words.
The guy in the picture is definitely not a beatnik. He looks kind of smarmy and pleased with himself, which is not a very beat-y way to look. Beatniks are supposed to look either aloof or high. This guy just looks like a douche.
Whiskey guy is wearing his shirt in that Tears For Fears kind of way where you button your shirt all the way up to the collar without a tie. That always looked dumb to me. If you're not wearing a tie, just leave the top button undone, Waldo. So what's he reading? An illustrated history of hard liquor? Maybe that's how he knows Schenley is the best-tasting whiskey in ages.
"How to relax". Jeez, such a thick book! Those pages had better be blank, or maybe pictures of trees. If you're so wound up you need to research a way to settle down, you might as well resort to chemical means of relaxatio - oh, right, whiskey. How stupid of me. He's pointing right at it, in that weird hourglass thing. The message is clear. Schenley whiskey will make time simply disappear, just like it did for Tears For fears. I blame the way he buttoned his shirt for people not liking the band any more, not the whiskey.
The first thing that caught my attention is the slang use of "man". It's standard stuff now, but in 1954, this was the newest and hippest way to talk. Schenley was really trying to be "with it".
See? I looked it up in my copy of Partridge's Concise Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English. It's one of those weird kind of e-books that weighs a few pounds and has no copy protection. Partridge says:
"man. A coll.: 'an exclamatory form of address in common use all over South Africa, employed often enough quite irrespective of either the age or the sex of the person addressed. ... The beatniks adopted the vocative man... ex jazzmen's usage, itself taken from the very numerous Negro jazzmen.'"
The beatniks were just hitting their freaky stride in '54, so apparently by then, the lingo was already being used by advertisers to sell stuff to youth culture, thereby sounding the death knell of anything cool, as always. In short order, "man" would simply be assumed into the vernacular of Western civilization. It still technically qualifies as slang I guess, but you're not going to weird out your grandma by using the word as such. Some small percentage of fads stick to the wall and stay forever. "Man" is one of them. "Cool" is another, although that word has been overused to the point of near meaninglessness.
So what's a slang word that came and went, only to be dragged out of the closet on special ironic occasions? That's easy. "Groovy", "hep", and "gag me with a spoon" are all slang that wore out their welcome. There have got to be loads more of those. That would be a decent drinking game, if you're into those... and in a sorority. Take turns going through the alphabet naming obsolete slang words. A person with no contribution takes a drink. It'd take hours to get drunk playing that game, there are so many lame slang words.
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| ...something happens and I'm no longer relevant... |
Whiskey guy is wearing his shirt in that Tears For Fears kind of way where you button your shirt all the way up to the collar without a tie. That always looked dumb to me. If you're not wearing a tie, just leave the top button undone, Waldo. So what's he reading? An illustrated history of hard liquor? Maybe that's how he knows Schenley is the best-tasting whiskey in ages.
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| Click for big. |
5/9/12
The Wedding Joke.
Joke #2 - Oh that mischievous Timmy. What a naughty boy! He simply wouldn't tell the brides where he had gagged and hogtied the grooms. He would only say that they had better find them before the high tide came in. What a wedding day THIS was going to be!
Joke #4 - Oh that mischievous Timmy. It turned out he wasn't really a priest at all, so none of them were actually married! What a wedding day THIS turned out to be!
Joke #5 - Timmy had only been pretending to be a girl, so he could marry any of the brides he wanted. It looked like they could stay in North Carolina after all!
Joke #6 - "...so then I says 'what would a priest know about being married?' and my mother says 'If he's the priest, then who's the groom?' and then the priest says 'If she's your mother, then where's my wife?"
Joke #7 - "...You mean we're all engaged to the SAME pregnant ten year old boy? Hahahahahahahahah! Well, it looks like we're off to Florida!"
Joke #8 comes from Anonymous. Thanks, whoever the hell you are! - "No, Timmy! You cannot look under there. Your soon to be brothers in law are busy preparing your sisters for the wedding."
Joke #9 is from Sue. Thanks, Sue! Also, pow! Take THAT, mormons! - Young Joseph Smith LOVED what he saw. However, he'd spend the next 15yrs looking for that darn hat.
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| Big version is in here. |
4/12/12
Little Ads - We found some history.
Today the Research & Googling Team has brought us some slices of interestingness... made of history! Mmm, waiter, can I have some coffee with all this history?
I'd never seen the word "skivvies" used in advertising before. I'd only heard it used colloquially. So, I tasked the guys down in R&G to get to the bottom of this one. World Wide Words says this:
The word has been briefly trademarked several times, but the earliest in the US Trademarks Registry is dated 1954 (by Norwich Mills Inc, Norwich, New York) and by then the word had been in public use for some time... In the singular, a skivvy is usually defined as a vest (as we would call it in Britain) or undershirt, sometimes specifically named as a skivvy shirt. In the plural it either refers to both vest and underpants or to male underwear in general. Most examples suggest that this last meaning came along after the one for a vest. But that 1918 citation is in the plural, which may indicate it was already a fairly broad term. The early examples all indicate it was US military slang.
Other sources agree with the military origin of the term. So, it turns out that this ad we found here is from a 1954 issue of LIFE magazine, which makes it the first attempt to trademark the word "skivvies".
This ad comes to us from 1952, in the British magazine Picture Post. It's an ad for Dunlop bicycle "tyres" (heh heh). It seems to assume that the reader instantly recognizes the horseshoe things and associates them with cycling. A moment's staring tells me that this is some kind of trouser cuff clip.
Trouble is, here in The Future, most workaday cyclists I see use some kind of velcro strappy deal to keep their cuff from getting jammed in the chain. I myself am a fairly big bike geek, so if I'm riding, I'm probably wearing spacey bike clothes, looking like an insect. Also, I'm safely concealed in a forest of some kind, where stupid looking weirdos belong.
R&G found some vintage trouser clips like the ones in this ad on Ebay, see? Case closed! Mystery solved! Check and mate!
This last ad is also from Picture Post. What the Eff is "Nervone? Apparently, nerves have "power" and it can run low. Thankfully, Nervone can build up more nerve power so you don't run out? What... is... this... shit?
Oooooh! Nervone is homeopathy, which makes it magic pills. Homeopathy is the idea that "like cures like". If you have cancer, take some cancer to chase it away. Even better, it says that molecules have "memory" of their previous states and - long story short - you can dilute something with water, all the way down to undetectable levels, and call it "medicine". In Britain, where libel laws are, uuh, "different", homeopathy enjoys wider acceptance among people who like magical thinking. Homeopathic remedies are either water or sugar pills, depending on whether the product is in liquid or solid form.
This ad describes conditions that are usually associated with stress and psychological conditions and blames them on "low nerve power". Nervone probably does nothing. As proof, skeptics have staged massive homeopathic "overdoses" to prove that the product contains no active ingredients. Nobody got sick.
The word has been briefly trademarked several times, but the earliest in the US Trademarks Registry is dated 1954 (by Norwich Mills Inc, Norwich, New York) and by then the word had been in public use for some time... In the singular, a skivvy is usually defined as a vest (as we would call it in Britain) or undershirt, sometimes specifically named as a skivvy shirt. In the plural it either refers to both vest and underpants or to male underwear in general. Most examples suggest that this last meaning came along after the one for a vest. But that 1918 citation is in the plural, which may indicate it was already a fairly broad term. The early examples all indicate it was US military slang.
Other sources agree with the military origin of the term. So, it turns out that this ad we found here is from a 1954 issue of LIFE magazine, which makes it the first attempt to trademark the word "skivvies".
Trouble is, here in The Future, most workaday cyclists I see use some kind of velcro strappy deal to keep their cuff from getting jammed in the chain. I myself am a fairly big bike geek, so if I'm riding, I'm probably wearing spacey bike clothes, looking like an insect. Also, I'm safely concealed in a forest of some kind, where stupid looking weirdos belong.
Oooooh! Nervone is homeopathy, which makes it magic pills. Homeopathy is the idea that "like cures like". If you have cancer, take some cancer to chase it away. Even better, it says that molecules have "memory" of their previous states and - long story short - you can dilute something with water, all the way down to undetectable levels, and call it "medicine". In Britain, where libel laws are, uuh, "different", homeopathy enjoys wider acceptance among people who like magical thinking. Homeopathic remedies are either water or sugar pills, depending on whether the product is in liquid or solid form.
This ad describes conditions that are usually associated with stress and psychological conditions and blames them on "low nerve power". Nervone probably does nothing. As proof, skeptics have staged massive homeopathic "overdoses" to prove that the product contains no active ingredients. Nobody got sick.
4/11/12
Bufferin - Won't upset your stomach. May upset eyebrows.
Here's a great black & white ad for Bufferin featuring a beautiful painting of furrowed eyebrows. Clients ask you to paint smiling children or sunsets all day long, but it's not every day you get to render a set of tortured eyebrows!
They easily could have gone with a photo of these eyebrows. Why the extra cost of having them painted? I have no idea. The art was obviously very heavily photo-referenced, so somebody arranged a little photo shoot prior to the painting. Really nice work, though.
Painting something pretty and nice is not so fun. All concerns come second to the "prettiness" of the piece. Painting these eyebrows would be a nice change of pace. They're meant to look unpleasant. If I were the artist, I'd have jumped at the opportunity to do an oddball job like this.
These eyebrows do a good job of conveying the pain of a headache. However, if I actually had a headache, this is the last thing I would ever do with my face. A maneuver like this is likely to make a headache worse. Hell, it may even GIVE you a headache just trying to do it. The guy in the picture might not need the medicine if he'd just stop making that face. I have no idea if Bufferin works. My family was always a Tylenol family.
Anyway, this picture may be fun to paste into an email to help your reader feel your bafflement or confusion. So, feel free to save yourself a copy of the cropped version at the foot of this post for just such an occasion. It may even save you from having to type any text at all some time. You're welcome.
Painting something pretty and nice is not so fun. All concerns come second to the "prettiness" of the piece. Painting these eyebrows would be a nice change of pace. They're meant to look unpleasant. If I were the artist, I'd have jumped at the opportunity to do an oddball job like this.
These eyebrows do a good job of conveying the pain of a headache. However, if I actually had a headache, this is the last thing I would ever do with my face. A maneuver like this is likely to make a headache worse. Hell, it may even GIVE you a headache just trying to do it. The guy in the picture might not need the medicine if he'd just stop making that face. I have no idea if Bufferin works. My family was always a Tylenol family.
Anyway, this picture may be fun to paste into an email to help your reader feel your bafflement or confusion. So, feel free to save yourself a copy of the cropped version at the foot of this post for just such an occasion. It may even save you from having to type any text at all some time. You're welcome.
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| Click through to bigness. |
3/13/12
Uranium Mining. LIFE Magazine 7/19/54 - Urani-yummy!
Around 1950, there was a bit of another "gold rush" out west, thanks to the advent of nuclear weapons. But, replace "gold" with "uranium". Also , replace it with "mental impairment, diarrhea, and good old cancer". The American drive to get your "piece of the pah" drove lots of people to go uranium prospecting. here in The Future, we all go "double-you tee eff?" at the thought of digging up uranium with your bare hands, carrying it with your bare hands, and looking at it with your bare eyeballs, but apparently, nobody had a problem with it at the time.
Below, please find the complete article from the July 19, 1954 article in LIFE magazine on the boom. Note the total lack of any mention of health risks related to uranium exposure.
How dangerous is uranium? Well, it's bad for you, to be sure, but not face-meltingly bad, like waltzing into the Fukushima facility. Uranium screws you up in slower-acting ways that aren't immediately obvious. Things like increased incidences of skin rash, lung cancer, and diuresis. The biggest threat was from radon gas, which is released by uranium during extraction. Out in the open, it tends to dissipate, but in a confined space like a large-scale mine, it can collect and eff you up pretty badly in the form of hugely increased lung cancer risk. But again, this doesn't show up for years, and at the time, everyone thought it was hunky-dory. Note: Yes, these links are from Wikipedia. Scroll top the bottom of the Wikipedia page for lots and lots of references and links to studies.
Why didn't the recognize any danger? They knew it was going to be weaponized for use in nuclear arms. Did they believe it was safe in low doses? I never made it without biting. Ask Mister Owl.
Anyway, here's the article. Click each one for a more bigger-er version... as if you didn't know.
The picture of the two guys eating "Uranium Burgers" is too juicy to pass up. Doesn't it need a few jokes?
Joke #1 - "I know that when I put this burger in my mouth, the Matrix is telling me that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years of prospecting, you know what I realize? My sperm feel funny."
Joke #2 - After two weeks, the Uranium Grill was fined by the DOE for using less-than-advertised levels of uranium in the food.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
Below, please find the complete article from the July 19, 1954 article in LIFE magazine on the boom. Note the total lack of any mention of health risks related to uranium exposure.
How dangerous is uranium? Well, it's bad for you, to be sure, but not face-meltingly bad, like waltzing into the Fukushima facility. Uranium screws you up in slower-acting ways that aren't immediately obvious. Things like increased incidences of skin rash, lung cancer, and diuresis. The biggest threat was from radon gas, which is released by uranium during extraction. Out in the open, it tends to dissipate, but in a confined space like a large-scale mine, it can collect and eff you up pretty badly in the form of hugely increased lung cancer risk. But again, this doesn't show up for years, and at the time, everyone thought it was hunky-dory. Note: Yes, these links are from Wikipedia. Scroll top the bottom of the Wikipedia page for lots and lots of references and links to studies.
Why didn't the recognize any danger? They knew it was going to be weaponized for use in nuclear arms. Did they believe it was safe in low doses? I never made it without biting. Ask Mister Owl.
Anyway, here's the article. Click each one for a more bigger-er version... as if you didn't know.
The picture of the two guys eating "Uranium Burgers" is too juicy to pass up. Doesn't it need a few jokes?
Joke #2 - After two weeks, the Uranium Grill was fined by the DOE for using less-than-advertised levels of uranium in the food.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
2/13/12
Chrysler Air Conditioning 1954 - Feels like a fridge. Looks like a fridge.
Recently, Jalopnik's informal daily reader survey, the "Question Of The Day" asked "What car colors need to make a comeback?" My response didn't make it into the top ten responses, but I am now surprised that turquoise didn't make it in either. I mean, paired with the white accents in this '54 Chrysler, it looks damn good. The effect is more impressive with all the shiny metal surfaces on the interior of the car.
See? Pretty. Could I live with it every day? Probably not, but just because I wouldn't buy a car this color doesn't mean I couldn't appreciate there being cars like this around. Car colors are stuck in a rut. Silver, champagne, black, white, with an occasional daring splash of dark blue or burgundy. There are exceptions to this chromatic vehicular dirge, but overall, the scenery on my daily commute is far too monotonous. I'm not helping, either. My car? Silver. Yawn. It was the one on the lot with the features I wanted, though.
Apart from the color of this Chrysler, the predominance of body-color surfaces inside the car is notable, as is the preponderance of hard metal surfaces, each of which are all too eager to bash your brains out. This was 1954, when building a safe car meant making a nice rigid box for you to bounce around in when you hit something good and solid. That steering column is a gorgeous piece of industrial design that will look just as pretty rammed through your chest. Fortunately, this will never happen, because the steering wheel will prevent it from sinking in too far, like the "basket" on the end of a ski pole. The woman in the ad will have to settle for admiring the beauty of the steering column with her head stuck through the wheel. Let's not talk about her daughter.
How safe was this car? The ad doesn't tell us which of their cars was used for the picture, and I'm not enough of a vintage car buff to tell just by looking at the interior (although I think there may be some in the peanut gallery that can). In general, a modern car weighs roughly the same now as an equivalent model did way back in '54, thanks to heavy stuff like electronics and safety equipment. However, they're structured VERY differently. Your average Car of the Future is designed to crumple itself into a ball to dissipate a crash's energy, sacrificing itself to save your life. They didn't understand much about safety features in 1954.
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) rates vehicular fatalities on a number of scales, but a key number to look at is the number of deaths per hundred million miles traveled in cars by the population. This is the "fatalities per VMT" (Vehicular Miles Traveled). This is clever, because it controls for the greater number of cars on the road these days, which would otherwise make it hard to compare numbers.
So, how many people died per hundred million miles driven in 1954? Six.
How many deaths per VMT in 2009? One and a half.
Also, current cars have more "soft touch" surfaces inside, like rubberized plastic, foam, and fabric. This makes the interior more quiet and less echoey. A conversation in the '54 Chrysler would have been like talking in an oil barrel. However, one thing all those shiny metal surfaces have going for them is that it's really easy to clean them. Viscera wipes right off.
See? Pretty. Could I live with it every day? Probably not, but just because I wouldn't buy a car this color doesn't mean I couldn't appreciate there being cars like this around. Car colors are stuck in a rut. Silver, champagne, black, white, with an occasional daring splash of dark blue or burgundy. There are exceptions to this chromatic vehicular dirge, but overall, the scenery on my daily commute is far too monotonous. I'm not helping, either. My car? Silver. Yawn. It was the one on the lot with the features I wanted, though.
Apart from the color of this Chrysler, the predominance of body-color surfaces inside the car is notable, as is the preponderance of hard metal surfaces, each of which are all too eager to bash your brains out. This was 1954, when building a safe car meant making a nice rigid box for you to bounce around in when you hit something good and solid. That steering column is a gorgeous piece of industrial design that will look just as pretty rammed through your chest. Fortunately, this will never happen, because the steering wheel will prevent it from sinking in too far, like the "basket" on the end of a ski pole. The woman in the ad will have to settle for admiring the beauty of the steering column with her head stuck through the wheel. Let's not talk about her daughter.
How safe was this car? The ad doesn't tell us which of their cars was used for the picture, and I'm not enough of a vintage car buff to tell just by looking at the interior (although I think there may be some in the peanut gallery that can). In general, a modern car weighs roughly the same now as an equivalent model did way back in '54, thanks to heavy stuff like electronics and safety equipment. However, they're structured VERY differently. Your average Car of the Future is designed to crumple itself into a ball to dissipate a crash's energy, sacrificing itself to save your life. They didn't understand much about safety features in 1954.
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) rates vehicular fatalities on a number of scales, but a key number to look at is the number of deaths per hundred million miles traveled in cars by the population. This is the "fatalities per VMT" (Vehicular Miles Traveled). This is clever, because it controls for the greater number of cars on the road these days, which would otherwise make it hard to compare numbers.
So, how many people died per hundred million miles driven in 1954? Six.
How many deaths per VMT in 2009? One and a half.
Also, current cars have more "soft touch" surfaces inside, like rubberized plastic, foam, and fabric. This makes the interior more quiet and less echoey. A conversation in the '54 Chrysler would have been like talking in an oil barrel. However, one thing all those shiny metal surfaces have going for them is that it's really easy to clean them. Viscera wipes right off.
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