11/29/17
11/28/17
The alligator belt.
Joke #1 - Mavis Checked the seat belt one last time before setting off. The children would be surprised when "boring old grandma" picked them up from school today.
Joke #2 - Mavis woke to find that It had worked! The hip replacement fairy had come after all!
Joke #3 - New for '56, many cars now feature a dashboard warning light that reminds the driver to check the back seat for forgotten children.
Joke #4 - Reminder: it is illegal for any passenger under the age of four to ride in a motor vehicle without a federally approved booster seat.
Joke #5 comes to us from long-time jokemaker Jim D. Thanks, Jim! ". . . and . . . there. That should do it. Untying Junior, here, will also release the big guy under the blanket. Yeah, the blanket doesn't quite hide Tiny, but those damn animal-rights tree-huggers will be too focused on their own satisfaction at rescuing another alligator from hot-car suffocation to notice until it's too late! Now to get back to the hidden camera and wait."
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
11/27/17
"You will drive 120 m.p.h. -legally"... BAH hah hahha! Oh man...
In 1966, Popular Science thought the legal highway speed limit would somehow climb to 120 m.p.h. Did you enjoy your hyperspeed commute this morning? Was your breakfast meal-in-a-pill delicious and filling? Lean back in your hoverchair and enjoy this complete article explaining how we did it.
11/20/17
11/17/17
11/16/17
11/10/17
Know Your Orchestra - Percussion Appreciation Apparatus
Original image found at shorpy.com. We hope they don't mind.
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11/9/17
11/8/17
International Harvester... refrigerators? Femineered!
Whether or not you view the past as "the good old days" or "the dark ages" has everything to do with who you are. If you're a seventy-something year old white guy, 1950 might look pretty rosy when viewed through your particular shade of colored glasses. Let us recall that, in 1950, you could market a refrigerator (which International Harvester apparently did, I guess???) with an ad campaign like "femineered".
If you read the list of features in the copy - things like spaciousness, efficiency, and convenience - you'll be reading a list of things that men absolutely hate in a fridge. We are only left to assume that International Harvester's line of "mangeneered" fridges leaked air like it was made from colanders, had shelves designed to hold everything poorly, fell apart in a week, and consumed as much electricity as everything else in your house combined. Thankfully, International Harvester was there to deduce that only women want a smartly designed product.
Or, it was just a refrigerator, a thing that goes in a kitchen, which made it the sole purview of a woman?
Well, that was a long time ago. We've learned so much since then. Of course, no company now would be dumb enough to patronize fifty percent of the popula- Oh jeez...
https://jalopnik.com/this-car-for-women-designed-by-cosmopolitan-is-about-a-1786899869
If you read the list of features in the copy - things like spaciousness, efficiency, and convenience - you'll be reading a list of things that men absolutely hate in a fridge. We are only left to assume that International Harvester's line of "mangeneered" fridges leaked air like it was made from colanders, had shelves designed to hold everything poorly, fell apart in a week, and consumed as much electricity as everything else in your house combined. Thankfully, International Harvester was there to deduce that only women want a smartly designed product.
Or, it was just a refrigerator, a thing that goes in a kitchen, which made it the sole purview of a woman?
Well, that was a long time ago. We've learned so much since then. Of course, no company now would be dumb enough to patronize fifty percent of the popula- Oh jeez...
https://jalopnik.com/this-car-for-women-designed-by-cosmopolitan-is-about-a-1786899869
What do you get when a women’s magazine like Cosmopolitan wants to create a car for women and teams up with Spanish automaker Seat? You get the Seat Mii by Cosmopolitan, and these are the features that the magazine and Seat decided were necessary: purple or white exterior paint, champagne colored wing mirrors, headlights with an “eyeliner shape,” jeweled wheels and ease of parking.
11/6/17
Faces of the Month, March 1935 - Three profile pictures.
Have you misplaced your March, 1935 copy of Fortune magazine? Well, first off, shame on you. Second, you're in luck, because we've got ours! And, here are three profile pictures for your InstaFace account, in case you don't like InstaFace detecting your face and calling you out in all those police blotter photos. "(Your name here) is with local gas station robbery!"
Yep, that's real interesting stuff. Lady under a fish, old guy looking stiff, and a racing driver who looks like a less chipper version of Mr. Slugworth, from the 1971 Willy Wonka movie.
Anyway, you're probably simply vibrating in your chair, waiting for your new avatar / profile picture. Okay, simmer down. Here they are, and you're welcome!
Yep, that's real interesting stuff. Lady under a fish, old guy looking stiff, and a racing driver who looks like a less chipper version of Mr. Slugworth, from the 1971 Willy Wonka movie.
Anyway, you're probably simply vibrating in your chair, waiting for your new avatar / profile picture. Okay, simmer down. Here they are, and you're welcome!
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11/3/17
Drumming up business.
Joke #2 - "Bendy propellers repaired while you wait! All technicians licensed and bonded propeller repairmen! Just call us for a free estimate! How about you, sir? Got a bendy propeller that needs straightening? Oh come on! Someone must need some propellers straightened! Why won't you people even look at me?"
Joke #3 was delivered via bomber, to Dresden, from Cyclotronboy. Thanks, CTB! A salesman for the Standard Swallow (SS) car company hands out flyers. The salesmen were already having trouble after the war broke out on the continent, but their woefully uninformed advertising department only seemed to make things worse with their unfortunate design choices for the new uniforms.
[Commenter jokes will be added to the post. -Mgmt.]
11/2/17
11/1/17
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