The 1950 Hudsons - You call that an eight?

This ad for the 1950 Hudson lineup seems to be semi-tumescent over the new "step down" feature, where the vehicular enter-ee descends a flight of stairs, an escalator, a water slide, and a rope ladder to get inside. They also make some mention of calling one of their cars an eight. We're going to fix that for them.

The key message is that lowness equals safety. Of course, this is an ad, so reason and logic are the first things thrown out the window. A car's lowness does definitely does not equal safety. Also, stepping into this car obviously doesn't require you to step down. That would require some kind of Tardis effect that bent the laws of the universe. You know how to make the floor of a car seem lower? Make the door sill taller. Anyway, Hudson's "step-down ride" trademark has thirty-three percent of its words wrong, in the words-used-are-the-exact-opposite-of-reality way. You definitely and obviously step up tino this car from ground level. Maybe the car came with a little portable and very tall curb for you to stand on, in order to step down into the vehicle? Gotta love advertising.

Hudson also offers this car as an "eight". Sure, they're referring to the number of cylinders in the motor. Still, it doesn't look very eight to me. Here, let me get that for you...

That's how you make an eight, Hudson. Let me know if there's anything else I can straighten out for you.

Tex Avery made an animated short called The Car of Tomorrow in 1951 - just one year after this ad ran. Funny enough, there's a bit about a car that requires you to step down. Skip ahead to 0:53 to get to the "step-down" gag.

Tex Avery - MGM 1951-09-22 - Car of Tomorrow

Here's a couple of PNGs to add to your hard drive's multicar pileup. It's been a while, hasn't it? You'll notice that these two PNGs feature an alpha background as well as transparent windows, because I'm a pro. For no extra charge, I made sure the Husdon badge on the hub caps aren't pointing the same direction on the doubled-up front axle of the "eight" version of the car. That way, you'll never guess the image has been altered, because who would bother with stupid details like varying the wheel rotation? A maniac, that's who definitely wouldn't!!! YOU'RE WELCOME, GODAMMIT!!!!!!