Medicine Selection

Joke #1 - "You’re going to be just fine Mr. Clinton. You only need to take these various prescription medications six times a day with a meal, as well as this prescription nurse two times a day, with gin. Some drowsiness may occur."

Joke #2 - "Now, as you see here, we’ve got a wide selection of medications displayed on our special Medication Examination Table. Just choose whichever one looks good, and then step over to our special Medication Ingestion Table and prepare to collapse on our special Patient Molesta- I, uuh, - our Patient Care Tile."

Joke #3 - "Ah, nurse Gimble has a tray of bottles ready for us. I think you’ll find that any one of them can hold all the cash in your wallet, as well as all major credit cards, if you bend them just a little."

Joke #4 - …and after recommending  a random bottle of pez, spree, or razzles, Dr. Lambert, whose great great great great great great uncle’s ex-roomate was a trained physician (thereby multiplying his own negligible qualifications by ten thousand fold) sent the happy patient home to recover from his little bout of leukemia. It may sound extraordinary, but it’s just another ordinary day at St. Placebo’s Institute of Advanced Homeopathy.

Joke #5 is recommended by 4 out of 5 Comatoast commenters. Thanks Comatoast! - Joke #5 - "Looks like that's all of them. Nurse, please load the merchandise into Mr. Brighton's bag. A pleasure doing business with you Mr. Brighton. With your distribution record I suspect you'll have half the elementary school hooked by the end of the week."

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]