The Brain Machine

Joke #1 - Sister Mary Rupert lowered the Cranial Sin Collector Dish into place. "When the sedative takes effect, we'll know if you really have Jesus in your heart, as you claim, or if your dreams are just full of bouncing breasts, pert buttocks and soft, warm vaginas."

Joke #2 - "This large dish goes on your head, of course, and the two sockets... well, you don't want to know where they go. And enough of your whining already! You should have thought of this before you had a cavity."

Joke #3 - "If you start to feel a slight paralyzing sensation, just call out to us with your thoughts, and we'll come running in.... unless the machine isn't amplifying your thoughts correctly... the first symptom of which is near total paralysis of the subject. Okay! Ready to begin?"

Joke #4 - "Yes! The correct answer was 'Deuteronomy', and while you did say 'Deuteronomy', you were actually thinking 'Leviticus'. So, that means we now move on to the special Punishment Round! And since it's Good Friday, this is an audience participation event!"

[Commenter jokes will be added to the post.   -Mgmt.]