12/19/18

Scotch Tape - Holds together Christmas!

Hey everybody! Tape! You know what Christmas? Tape! Everybody must have tape! Tape tape tape! Tape is required! All must tape! Tapetapetapetapetapetape!

This ad from the 12/18/1950 issue of LIFE magazine is here to help you figure out what to do with all that tape your bought for unrelated reasons. Use it to Christmas! First among tape's many uses that you would never figure out on your own is making a "friendship tree"!!! That's right! "What the hell is a friendship tree?" Well, first you start by friendshipfully killing a tree and dragging it into your house. To find out the rest, just tilt your eyeballs downward slightly!

**Service announcement**
This two-page ad has been scanned in two parts, because Google doesn't let you post pictures larger than 1600px in their longest dimension. So, instead of a single image 1600px across, we have posted two pages, each 1600px high. So now, you might have a chance of reading the text in the ad, if that's what you're into. See? Always thinking of YOU! That's our motto or whatever! If you printed these pictures out and are trying to reassemble them in the form of the original ad, here's a hint to solving the jigsaw puzzle. The page with Bing on it goes on the left. You're welcome!

[-Mgmt.]



If you follow Scotch's advice about how to Christmas, you'll use about nine dollars in Scotch tape per gift. Use it as ribbon! Use it instead of wrapping paper! Tape your lights to the tree! Use it to keep your eyes open while assembling a bike at 3am in total silence! Then there's your friendship tree thing, which means taping cards to your Christmas tree! What's in the roast turkey instead of stuffing? Tape, idiot! If the Scotch marketing department had had their way, every American family would simply forgo the gift-giving tradition altogether and just spend their entire annual income on tape and just sit around sticking things together.

Hey. I just thought of this. Why weren't there any tapecentric Christmas carols written by Scotch's marketing department? Missed opportunity, guys. They really dropped the ball and taped it to the floor on that one.

Maybe you feel like listening to an ancient Bing Crosby family Christmas radio show? Okay, here. Have that.

https://youtu.be/Bcp8dyys8Ok


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